We may as well close out the year with some degree of sheer irreverence. Web Guy, however, wants me to tear into a certain City of Phoenix peace officer who just screwed the PR pooch, or something like that. From the duly diligent (though pulseless) Arizona Republic:
An ongoing neighborhood squabble about a cat stuck in a tree led a Phoenix police officer into a flurry of public criticism Tuesday for confronting would-be rescuers in his pajamas with his gun drawn.
The officer hustled outside, flashing his badge, worried for a moment that an intruder interrupted his afternoon nap by climbing a ladder into his backyard near Bell Road and 12th Street.
Boiled down to salt, it looks like two things have happened here. Foremost, a cop cracked under the mildest of strain, cause enough for reasonable concern. Beyond that, it would seem these pet-people have apparently gotten under the wrong person's skin, and no wonder.
The media got involved because the Humane Society got involved, and so the dominoes fell. It bears mentioning that anyone who witnessed the scene - a man in his pee-jays running out into his yard waving a firearm - could've shot that officer in defense of any innocent bystander who might be in immediate life-threatening danger; so sayeth Arizona law.
The same lawbook also calls the policeman's actions a felony. You can't run outside your home brandishing a pistol, even if you happen to carry one at work. But, don't worry, nothing is going to happen to the policeman. The department is actually defending him in (or against) the press, saying that pet rescue isn't their job anyway.
This really isn't a bone I want to pick. Not with the Phoenix Department of Public Safety. Not after documenting the blatant racial profiling that took place in front of my home last year. Not after having once described their actions as terrorism for shooting a dog in Maryvale. Not after loudly deriding motorcycle patrolman Larry Peterson as "an asshole" and "a prick" a few years back...
Some fights, you walk away from. This might be one of them.
The problem is that I told Web Guy that I would say something about it. Specifically I vowed to urge those poor folks whose cats, God forbid, may happen to expire in the near future to dispose of the bodies in this particular cop's front yard. It's a form of social justice and it will save them money besides.
But I can't do that. Besides, the Blue Shield won't release this bozo's name and/or address. They're covering for him, because they know he's created this unnecessary mess. It's nothing new, nothing pretty, nothing worth looking at twice. It's a slice of reality. You suck on it like a lemon wedge, make a face, and move along.
What I really wanted to write about - Happy New Year, by the way - is how one can often tell what a particular State is like by it's shape. Michigan, for instance, is shaped like a mitten so you can easily guess that it's cold there. Florida rather resembles a flip-flop, so one could rightly expect sandy beaches, palm trees, sunshine, stuff like that.
Nevada is shaped like a funnel (or a guillotine blade, depending on how you look at it). Alaska looks like a Rorschach test. Texas and Oklahoma, on the other hand, look not at all vaguely like toilets, so you can probably guess what you're going to find there. Is that not fair?
See you in O-Nine.
pH 12.31.o8
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Say Cheese
By now, most people have seen the video on the Internet, evidence that we have gone a bit loco here in the desert. They reveal themselves now and again, these little idiosyncrasies that separate us from the rest of humanity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T43LtGNFLPw
Yes, that was Santa Claus, wrapping up a surveillance camera in Tempe, Arizona. Apparently, a group of extremists from the North Pole has declared war on the "Surveillance State". In the spirit of Henry David Thoreaux, I say, well done.
There are places on Earth - such as Belfast, Ireland - where people are under far more scrutiny than we are here in the Valley of the Sun. We're catching up, though, with every other intersection equipped with cameras to monitor our speed and red-light compliance.
As a parting gift, Democratic governor Janet Napolitano has installed cameras on most all Arizona freeways. In their first two months of operation, they generated some 40,000 citations, to the tune of over $6 million in fines. Damn right you're on Candid Camera.
In the latest example of why ballot initiatives ought to be banned in a representative government, another radical wingnut movement is picking up steam. Now the mad petitioners want the public to be able to vote on whether or not to keep said cameras.
Nobody expected this. They don't care about the number of lives and limbs spared by a sane flow of traffic, or the reduced costs of collision and infrastructure damage. Forget the millions of gallons of fuel saved when we all back off the throttle. This is, they will tell you, a privacy issue.
More disturbing than the presence of automated shutterbugs is the latest news from the City of Phoenix Department of Public Safety, which is now training its patrol officers to draw blood in the event of DUI suspicion. Yes, people with guns are being given that kind of power.
So what kind of power do we have? You want to go to war with Big Brother? Do you really? I only ask because I know how to do it. And if you honestly want to head in that direction, I'd be happy to help, but I doubt you've got the guts.
As a matter of function, traffic cameras use flash-bulbs, which tend to *pop* in the periphery of one's vision. As medical science has been telling us for years (just read the inside cover of any modern video game), such peripheral flashes can cause seizures, even in people who have never suffered from them before. It's rare, but it happens.
So go get 'em. Zoom past a camera, and when you get flashed, take your car into the barricades at 75 miles per hour. Roll it over if you can. Upon being taken to the emergency room, tell the doctor that you're not sure what happened... Last thing you remember was a bright flash out of the corner of your eye (drooling will help your cause).
The rest is up to any decent lawyer. What's known for sure is that the government did set up equipment which did elicit your seizure, which did result in the horrific accident, which does necessitate considerable monetary compensation. That would shut down the cameras without canvassing for a single signature.
Then again, we are talking about a law-enforcement mindset that rationalizes the use of cute little hand-held cattle prods, and nobody squawks about that. In a free society, we get the policing we deserve. They were given an inch. They took miles at a time.
The funny part is that this has been going on at the federal level for about seven years now, and the good people of Arizona never gave a damn. We are consistently represented by Republicans who have done nothing but undermine the Constitution while George W. Bush rubberstamped every page.
Maybe more of us would have noticed if the White House had been sending out $200 tickets in the mail. That's all it takes to get your attention anymore, concerned citizen that you are.
pH 12.26.o8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T43LtGNFLPw
Yes, that was Santa Claus, wrapping up a surveillance camera in Tempe, Arizona. Apparently, a group of extremists from the North Pole has declared war on the "Surveillance State". In the spirit of Henry David Thoreaux, I say, well done.
There are places on Earth - such as Belfast, Ireland - where people are under far more scrutiny than we are here in the Valley of the Sun. We're catching up, though, with every other intersection equipped with cameras to monitor our speed and red-light compliance.
As a parting gift, Democratic governor Janet Napolitano has installed cameras on most all Arizona freeways. In their first two months of operation, they generated some 40,000 citations, to the tune of over $6 million in fines. Damn right you're on Candid Camera.
In the latest example of why ballot initiatives ought to be banned in a representative government, another radical wingnut movement is picking up steam. Now the mad petitioners want the public to be able to vote on whether or not to keep said cameras.
Nobody expected this. They don't care about the number of lives and limbs spared by a sane flow of traffic, or the reduced costs of collision and infrastructure damage. Forget the millions of gallons of fuel saved when we all back off the throttle. This is, they will tell you, a privacy issue.
More disturbing than the presence of automated shutterbugs is the latest news from the City of Phoenix Department of Public Safety, which is now training its patrol officers to draw blood in the event of DUI suspicion. Yes, people with guns are being given that kind of power.
So what kind of power do we have? You want to go to war with Big Brother? Do you really? I only ask because I know how to do it. And if you honestly want to head in that direction, I'd be happy to help, but I doubt you've got the guts.
As a matter of function, traffic cameras use flash-bulbs, which tend to *pop* in the periphery of one's vision. As medical science has been telling us for years (just read the inside cover of any modern video game), such peripheral flashes can cause seizures, even in people who have never suffered from them before. It's rare, but it happens.
So go get 'em. Zoom past a camera, and when you get flashed, take your car into the barricades at 75 miles per hour. Roll it over if you can. Upon being taken to the emergency room, tell the doctor that you're not sure what happened... Last thing you remember was a bright flash out of the corner of your eye (drooling will help your cause).
The rest is up to any decent lawyer. What's known for sure is that the government did set up equipment which did elicit your seizure, which did result in the horrific accident, which does necessitate considerable monetary compensation. That would shut down the cameras without canvassing for a single signature.
Then again, we are talking about a law-enforcement mindset that rationalizes the use of cute little hand-held cattle prods, and nobody squawks about that. In a free society, we get the policing we deserve. They were given an inch. They took miles at a time.
The funny part is that this has been going on at the federal level for about seven years now, and the good people of Arizona never gave a damn. We are consistently represented by Republicans who have done nothing but undermine the Constitution while George W. Bush rubberstamped every page.
Maybe more of us would have noticed if the White House had been sending out $200 tickets in the mail. That's all it takes to get your attention anymore, concerned citizen that you are.
pH 12.26.o8
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
News, Views and Shoes
Reply to self: No, I am not ignoring the news, but neither am I getting carried away by the current of events just lately. Sometimes, when you practically need an umbrella to keep the stories off your shoulders, an old and trusted format is the way to go: "News and Views".
News: Barack Obama's cabinet is heavily staffed with Clintonistas, moderates and otherwise noted non-leftists. The liberal sphere grumbles.
Views: Well, sure. With quite the rough patch ahead, it makes sense to appoint people who can hit the ground running, and they'll make for nice scapegoats while their eventual replacements serve as understudies. At this point, things are so bad that Obama could name D.B. Cooper to be Treasurer and Tommy Chong as Drug Czar, and it wouldn't matter too much.
More of a concern is the fact that the president-elect is bleeding the Senate (and a couple of governor's mansions) dry of capable Democrats. The most recently plucked apple was Colorado's Ken Salazar, seen by most environmentalists as a puppet of the mining and ranching industries. But that sticks to Obama's approach of not over-reaching early on. Smart.
News: Southern Republican Senators block financial assistance for U.S. automakers. They say that the employees make too much money.
Views: Those same Senators forked over hundreds of millions of dollars in taxpayer money to foreign automakers to open manufacturing plants in their states. The Big Three should fight fire with fire; close all the Ford, Chrysler and GM dealerships in Alabama and Tennessee.
If those good people want to buy American cars and trucks, they'll have to take their money to another state (say, a union state). As far as the lost jobs and the sales tax revenues are concerned, they will have noone to blame except their own Senators.
News: Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich gets caught on tape trying to sell Barack Obama's vacant seat in the Senate. Conservatives desperately seek to link Obama to the scandal. The state Senate votes in favor of impeachment proceedings by a margin of 113-0.
Views: "Pay to play" politics is nothing new in Illinois, and Blago will not be the first governor of that state to face jail time. He's pretty much been under an ethics cloud for years. The only unresolved matter is whether he's crazy enough to appoint himself to the Senate before being dragged out of office.
As for the degree of Obama's involvement, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald's reports indicate no connection thus far - although his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, did have numerous conversations with the governor's office.. Time will tell and, most likely, exonerate.
News: Wall Street mucky-muck Bernard Madoff made off with billions of dollars in a classic Ponzi scheme, possibly the tip of a fraud iceberg. Banks across the world are exposed to considerable damage, with many people left in financial ruins. Victims include charities and pension funds.
Views: (Shrug.)
News: In Baghdad, an Arab journalist hurls his shoes at President Bush during a news conference alongside Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. He also calls Bush a "dog" (gender not specified).
Views: The president, an old pro at ducking behind a podium before the media, actually lauded the fellow as a member of a "free society". Shortly thereafter, the good stewards of that free society took the conservative approach to dissent, which left the man with a broken arm and broken ribs. He remains in their care and custody despite massive public protests for his release.
Never mind the obvious reticence of the Secret Service. Look, the Iraqis are still learning this democracy stuff. He probably heard the expression, "vote with your feet", and it just didn't translate so well (as so many other things, alas, have not).
pH 12.17.o8
News: Barack Obama's cabinet is heavily staffed with Clintonistas, moderates and otherwise noted non-leftists. The liberal sphere grumbles.
Views: Well, sure. With quite the rough patch ahead, it makes sense to appoint people who can hit the ground running, and they'll make for nice scapegoats while their eventual replacements serve as understudies. At this point, things are so bad that Obama could name D.B. Cooper to be Treasurer and Tommy Chong as Drug Czar, and it wouldn't matter too much.
More of a concern is the fact that the president-elect is bleeding the Senate (and a couple of governor's mansions) dry of capable Democrats. The most recently plucked apple was Colorado's Ken Salazar, seen by most environmentalists as a puppet of the mining and ranching industries. But that sticks to Obama's approach of not over-reaching early on. Smart.
News: Southern Republican Senators block financial assistance for U.S. automakers. They say that the employees make too much money.
Views: Those same Senators forked over hundreds of millions of dollars in taxpayer money to foreign automakers to open manufacturing plants in their states. The Big Three should fight fire with fire; close all the Ford, Chrysler and GM dealerships in Alabama and Tennessee.
If those good people want to buy American cars and trucks, they'll have to take their money to another state (say, a union state). As far as the lost jobs and the sales tax revenues are concerned, they will have noone to blame except their own Senators.
News: Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich gets caught on tape trying to sell Barack Obama's vacant seat in the Senate. Conservatives desperately seek to link Obama to the scandal. The state Senate votes in favor of impeachment proceedings by a margin of 113-0.
Views: "Pay to play" politics is nothing new in Illinois, and Blago will not be the first governor of that state to face jail time. He's pretty much been under an ethics cloud for years. The only unresolved matter is whether he's crazy enough to appoint himself to the Senate before being dragged out of office.
As for the degree of Obama's involvement, U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald's reports indicate no connection thus far - although his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, did have numerous conversations with the governor's office.. Time will tell and, most likely, exonerate.
News: Wall Street mucky-muck Bernard Madoff made off with billions of dollars in a classic Ponzi scheme, possibly the tip of a fraud iceberg. Banks across the world are exposed to considerable damage, with many people left in financial ruins. Victims include charities and pension funds.
Views: (Shrug.)
News: In Baghdad, an Arab journalist hurls his shoes at President Bush during a news conference alongside Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. He also calls Bush a "dog" (gender not specified).
Views: The president, an old pro at ducking behind a podium before the media, actually lauded the fellow as a member of a "free society". Shortly thereafter, the good stewards of that free society took the conservative approach to dissent, which left the man with a broken arm and broken ribs. He remains in their care and custody despite massive public protests for his release.
Never mind the obvious reticence of the Secret Service. Look, the Iraqis are still learning this democracy stuff. He probably heard the expression, "vote with your feet", and it just didn't translate so well (as so many other things, alas, have not).
pH 12.17.o8
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Distant Karma
Beware, citizens, be very aware. Dark clouds gather. No place is safe. We're all a bunch of victims waiting to happen. From the loftiest perches of power to the darkest alleys, predators stalk among us. Anyone could fall.
This might be a story about Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, or disgraced football great O.J. Simpson, but no. We're talking about Boy George (the pop-icon, not the president). By this time you probably know fully well what he did. If not, please forgive the brevity of this synopsis:
After a nude photo shoot, he shackled a Norwegian male escort to his bedroom wall and flogged him with a metal chain. A Norwegian male escort! Apparently, this is a crime in London. Probably something to do with unpaid bondage tax.
Whatever the duration of his sentence, based on what he did, he should be forced to serve it at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Not in the capacity of a prisoner - rather, he should be given the title and the responsibilities of Chief Interrogator. Oh, yes, they'll talk.
Granted, he'll be dealing with the worst of the worst, the really hard-nosed terrorists. In other words, these are not Norwegians, but then neither do they have the rights of Norwegians. Using good old American latitude, we've got to break these people, especially with time running out on the Bush-Cheney game clock.
Their anti-terror plan hasn't been too successful, see, or we wouldn't still be fighting those two wars all these years after they began. Intelligence experts unanimously agree that terrorist attacks (and recruiting) have steadily risen across the world as time has passed since 9/11.
What is being done today to these detainees after they've been locked up for so long? What drastic tactics do we employ now that waterboarding is off-limits? Loud, offensive music. You know, AC/DC, Eminem, Nine Inch Nails, the Barney theme song. Seriously.
Since little else has worked, why don't we try blasting them with a new tune, like Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? It would take Boy George about a week to clear every last prisoner in U.S. custody, thereby eliminating Gitmo as an international sore spot and as a taxpayer burden.
Call it community service. After that's done, Mr. George can - no, must return to England to live a normal life as best he can. And the detainees? Well, that's always been a sticky wicket...
I'd send them to Norway.
pH 12.1o.o8
This might be a story about Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, or disgraced football great O.J. Simpson, but no. We're talking about Boy George (the pop-icon, not the president). By this time you probably know fully well what he did. If not, please forgive the brevity of this synopsis:
After a nude photo shoot, he shackled a Norwegian male escort to his bedroom wall and flogged him with a metal chain. A Norwegian male escort! Apparently, this is a crime in London. Probably something to do with unpaid bondage tax.
Whatever the duration of his sentence, based on what he did, he should be forced to serve it at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Not in the capacity of a prisoner - rather, he should be given the title and the responsibilities of Chief Interrogator. Oh, yes, they'll talk.
Granted, he'll be dealing with the worst of the worst, the really hard-nosed terrorists. In other words, these are not Norwegians, but then neither do they have the rights of Norwegians. Using good old American latitude, we've got to break these people, especially with time running out on the Bush-Cheney game clock.
Their anti-terror plan hasn't been too successful, see, or we wouldn't still be fighting those two wars all these years after they began. Intelligence experts unanimously agree that terrorist attacks (and recruiting) have steadily risen across the world as time has passed since 9/11.
What is being done today to these detainees after they've been locked up for so long? What drastic tactics do we employ now that waterboarding is off-limits? Loud, offensive music. You know, AC/DC, Eminem, Nine Inch Nails, the Barney theme song. Seriously.
Since little else has worked, why don't we try blasting them with a new tune, like Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? It would take Boy George about a week to clear every last prisoner in U.S. custody, thereby eliminating Gitmo as an international sore spot and as a taxpayer burden.
Call it community service. After that's done, Mr. George can - no, must return to England to live a normal life as best he can. And the detainees? Well, that's always been a sticky wicket...
I'd send them to Norway.
pH 12.1o.o8
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Random Notes from an Undeclared War
As the parade of long faces marches out of office, George W. Bush has been in meetings with his old pal Karl Rove and his attorney, Karen Hughes. Are they working on the financial mess we're all in? Or perhaps tidying up the Iraq dossier for the incoming Obama administration?
No, they're doing what they've always done, which is to micromanage the 43rd president's "legacy". Such image-burnishing, while hardly surprising, would be quite simple for most of us to handle. Look at last month's employment report, in which over half a million Americans lost their jobs. Laminate it. Put it on an easel. Shrug your shoulders; it's a legacy.
***
The price of oil has come down by roughly 70 percent from last summer's peak. Naturally, OPEC has squawked about this, saying that $75 a barrel would be more appropriate. Even so, their production cuts don't stand a chance versus penny-pinching American consumers, as AAA predicts that prices will continue to fall for the rest of the year.
All of this has been accomplished without any further domestic production, which was all we heard about during the election. So much for "Drill, Baby, Drill", which sounded dumb then, and sounds even dumber now - which probably has nothing to do with conservative broadcast outfits like Westwood One and Citadel losing almost all of their stock value this past month.
***
Note to Rolling Stone: Size matters.
***
India and Pakistan are at each other's throats again. Why the Bush administration allied itself with Pakistan in the war on terror remains unclear. India is much closer to a democratic government than their angry neighbor, and doesn't have an intelligence service that breaks bread with the likes of the Taliban and al-Qaida.
But then, how else could the neo-cons (and their harem of defense contractors) guarantee that great and lofty goal of theirs: War without end?
***
What's interesting about the Big Three's request for so-called bridge loans and other forms of economic assistance is the fact that their CEOs are being made to jump through Congressional hoops. Their 33-page "business plan" was mocked by all - but that's still 30 pages longer than Hank Paulson's business plan was, and we gave Wall Street $700 billion (roughly 20 times more than Detroit's request) without blinking. Wake me up when it makes sense.
***
Whenever I am vexed by a particular problem, I ask myself, WWOD (What Would Obama Do)?
***
Getting back to that legacy thing...
As unearthed memoes have revealed, the White House was involved in making decisions with regard to torture. In fact, the administration used the SERE manual (used by the military to instruct its personnel on torture resistance) to come up with the most effective methods. So when they ask What Would Jesus Do, they're only interested in finding out so that they can do the exact opposite thing.
In that regard, Bush has so much blood on his hands that he makes Idi Amin look like Uncle Remus, and should be treated accordingly by history and the law. Let him live out his days as Dada did - sipping drinks on a stipend in Saudi Arabia, out of reach of the international courts.
pH 12.o6.o8
No, they're doing what they've always done, which is to micromanage the 43rd president's "legacy". Such image-burnishing, while hardly surprising, would be quite simple for most of us to handle. Look at last month's employment report, in which over half a million Americans lost their jobs. Laminate it. Put it on an easel. Shrug your shoulders; it's a legacy.
***
The price of oil has come down by roughly 70 percent from last summer's peak. Naturally, OPEC has squawked about this, saying that $75 a barrel would be more appropriate. Even so, their production cuts don't stand a chance versus penny-pinching American consumers, as AAA predicts that prices will continue to fall for the rest of the year.
All of this has been accomplished without any further domestic production, which was all we heard about during the election. So much for "Drill, Baby, Drill", which sounded dumb then, and sounds even dumber now - which probably has nothing to do with conservative broadcast outfits like Westwood One and Citadel losing almost all of their stock value this past month.
***
Note to Rolling Stone: Size matters.
***
India and Pakistan are at each other's throats again. Why the Bush administration allied itself with Pakistan in the war on terror remains unclear. India is much closer to a democratic government than their angry neighbor, and doesn't have an intelligence service that breaks bread with the likes of the Taliban and al-Qaida.
But then, how else could the neo-cons (and their harem of defense contractors) guarantee that great and lofty goal of theirs: War without end?
***
What's interesting about the Big Three's request for so-called bridge loans and other forms of economic assistance is the fact that their CEOs are being made to jump through Congressional hoops. Their 33-page "business plan" was mocked by all - but that's still 30 pages longer than Hank Paulson's business plan was, and we gave Wall Street $700 billion (roughly 20 times more than Detroit's request) without blinking. Wake me up when it makes sense.
***
Whenever I am vexed by a particular problem, I ask myself, WWOD (What Would Obama Do)?
***
Getting back to that legacy thing...
As unearthed memoes have revealed, the White House was involved in making decisions with regard to torture. In fact, the administration used the SERE manual (used by the military to instruct its personnel on torture resistance) to come up with the most effective methods. So when they ask What Would Jesus Do, they're only interested in finding out so that they can do the exact opposite thing.
In that regard, Bush has so much blood on his hands that he makes Idi Amin look like Uncle Remus, and should be treated accordingly by history and the law. Let him live out his days as Dada did - sipping drinks on a stipend in Saudi Arabia, out of reach of the international courts.
pH 12.o6.o8
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The Big Free
Up until now, I have listened carefully to the debate over whether or not to bail out the "Big Three". With executives from Detroit appearing today before Congress, the subject is finally worth weighing in on - not by me, but by my buddy, Mick the Mechanic.
Mick has worked at a Ford dealership in Michigan for a terribly long time now. Seeing as this is his brand of gainful employment, he has a vested interest in his company's future. So I called him up to see how he's been doing just lately.
As per usual, I had to wait while he scrubbed his hands before he could pick up the phone. By the time he got to it, he was fairly animated, and I was itching to get the inside story.
How's it going, man? Worried at all about your job?
"My job? No. The place where I work? Yeah, I'm worried about them, but I can turn wrench anywhere. No matter who makes 'em, cars will always break down."
I get you. So is your dealership actually in trouble?
"The sales department sure is, but that's the case at any dealership, any make or model. Nobody's driving new cars off the lot. It's down by, like, forty percent."
Ouch. Who's to blame for this mess?
"You're gonna have to tell me. I just work on cars."
Well, everyone says that U.S. auto companies are poorly managed, that they make products that people don't seem to want, and that they are hobbled by bloated Union contracts. But it still doesn't seem fair to me to say that they've shot themselves in the foot, not when the overall economy fizzled alongside them. People aren't buying cars because they can't afford them. If it's any consolation, they're not sending their kids to college, either.
"College tuition keeps going up, though. They're makin' money. Car prices have dropped through the floor, and they still just sit on the lot. What gets me is that every stupid banker in America, every idiot who gambled our money and lost, gets a bailout, but not the working man."
Right. And remember that those institutions, we were told, are too big to fail. But the Big Three... Who cares?
"About three and a half million people, that's who. Like we weren't hurt enough already. The goddamn government's willing to let us all die on the vine."
No, no. The government isn't rooting for you to fail. Conservatives are.
"Oh, come on, man. The Republicans aren't even in power anymore. They lost, big-time."
That's true but it doesn't let them off the hook. They're the ones who pushed the far-flung notion of being an 'ownership society', complete with long commutes. They're the ones who gave an 85 percent tax credit to businesses on full-size trucks, vans and Hummers. They're also the ones who deregulated commodities, allowing speculators to then have their way with the oil markets, all the while mocking conservation as a personal virtue.
"Okay, say it is their fault. They've already been punished by the voters. That doesn't mean shit to the car companies, never mind the workers who just want their daily bread. Is the government going to own up to any of that?"
They don't see why they should.
"Because this country owes the Big Three, that's why. There were a few years there, you know, where they didn't make one dime selling cars. They were too busy cranking out planes, tanks, trucks, jeeps and ambulances. If the Motor City hadn't stepped up in World War II, all cars today'd be either German or Japanese... Know what I mean?"
As per usual, my buddy Mick was right. We ended the conversation with stock pleasantries, said goodbye, and hung up. I know what he did - he went right back to work.
As for me, I sat there for a few minutes, just looking at my hands. My clean hands.
pH 11.19.o8
Mick has worked at a Ford dealership in Michigan for a terribly long time now. Seeing as this is his brand of gainful employment, he has a vested interest in his company's future. So I called him up to see how he's been doing just lately.
As per usual, I had to wait while he scrubbed his hands before he could pick up the phone. By the time he got to it, he was fairly animated, and I was itching to get the inside story.
How's it going, man? Worried at all about your job?
"My job? No. The place where I work? Yeah, I'm worried about them, but I can turn wrench anywhere. No matter who makes 'em, cars will always break down."
I get you. So is your dealership actually in trouble?
"The sales department sure is, but that's the case at any dealership, any make or model. Nobody's driving new cars off the lot. It's down by, like, forty percent."
Ouch. Who's to blame for this mess?
"You're gonna have to tell me. I just work on cars."
Well, everyone says that U.S. auto companies are poorly managed, that they make products that people don't seem to want, and that they are hobbled by bloated Union contracts. But it still doesn't seem fair to me to say that they've shot themselves in the foot, not when the overall economy fizzled alongside them. People aren't buying cars because they can't afford them. If it's any consolation, they're not sending their kids to college, either.
"College tuition keeps going up, though. They're makin' money. Car prices have dropped through the floor, and they still just sit on the lot. What gets me is that every stupid banker in America, every idiot who gambled our money and lost, gets a bailout, but not the working man."
Right. And remember that those institutions, we were told, are too big to fail. But the Big Three... Who cares?
"About three and a half million people, that's who. Like we weren't hurt enough already. The goddamn government's willing to let us all die on the vine."
No, no. The government isn't rooting for you to fail. Conservatives are.
"Oh, come on, man. The Republicans aren't even in power anymore. They lost, big-time."
That's true but it doesn't let them off the hook. They're the ones who pushed the far-flung notion of being an 'ownership society', complete with long commutes. They're the ones who gave an 85 percent tax credit to businesses on full-size trucks, vans and Hummers. They're also the ones who deregulated commodities, allowing speculators to then have their way with the oil markets, all the while mocking conservation as a personal virtue.
"Okay, say it is their fault. They've already been punished by the voters. That doesn't mean shit to the car companies, never mind the workers who just want their daily bread. Is the government going to own up to any of that?"
They don't see why they should.
"Because this country owes the Big Three, that's why. There were a few years there, you know, where they didn't make one dime selling cars. They were too busy cranking out planes, tanks, trucks, jeeps and ambulances. If the Motor City hadn't stepped up in World War II, all cars today'd be either German or Japanese... Know what I mean?"
As per usual, my buddy Mick was right. We ended the conversation with stock pleasantries, said goodbye, and hung up. I know what he did - he went right back to work.
As for me, I sat there for a few minutes, just looking at my hands. My clean hands.
pH 11.19.o8
Thursday, November 13, 2008
In Vino Gravitas (or, "Look, Ma, No Drilling")
(Responsible Disclaimer: Some of you will read this and feel a strong desire, perhaps for the first time ever, to call PETA's hotline. Go ahead. It won't help.)
Anyone who filled up their gas tank this week knows one thing: The experts are full of beans. Earlier this year, we were told in no uncertain terms that the price of gasoline would never again go below three dollars a gallon, proper tire inflation be damned.
Well, it did, and AAA believes it will sink below two dollars a gallon this weekend as many Western states switch to the cheaper "winter blend." Funny, over the past few years, the experts have been wrong about a lot of things. But don't let that embolden your heart.
Just because we're getting a timely break at the pump doesn't mean that the commodities market is stable - anything but. They could easily roll out the barrel again where oil futures are concerned. For our part, we weathered this last bout of fossil-inflation quite well. It must be in our blood.
In the mid-1830s, Americans almost universally burned whale oil in their lamps. As the whale population declined (and as more people wanted to light their homes) the price of whale oil increased by roughly 540 percent. Then kerosene was introduced, and we were on our way to here.
What has worked in the past can work again, if not for our lamps, then at least for heating oil. Commercial whaling, in concept, could be viewed as a new form of renewable alternative energy. In practice, though, the more likely result would be the summary extinction of whales worldwide as Wall Street went Ahab on us all.
Given that, the next logical source of combustible blubber is the elephant, and not as in Hannibal crossing the Alps. I mean the logo on all the fear-and-smear mailers that jammed your mailbox last month. That's right. Republicans need to put their money where they put all that junk food.
Think of how many raw kilowatt hours are waisted on the likes of a Rush Limbaugh or a Dennis Hastert. Karl Rove would once more have some form of value. Tell me Bill O'Reilly doesn't need his chin sucked (perhaps, as a rare humanitarian exception, they could give it to Mitch McConnell).
Conservative fat cats serving hefty prison sentences could donate, as well, in exchange for a slight reduction in penalty; call it "lard time". I'm thinking Jack Abramoff, Duke Cunningham, guys like that. It wouldn't right all of the wrongs, but it would help them, and it would help society.
No doubt, there are some heavy Democrats out there, too. All should be encouraged - with yet another tax incentive if need be - to waddle on down to the nearest VA hospital for some bipartisan liposuction in the name of energy independence.
Come on, Butterworth, it's either this or you start buying American cars. Weigh in as part of the solution. If you could all just tighten up your belts a little bit, the other 95 percent of us wouldn't have to.
pH 11.13.o8
Anyone who filled up their gas tank this week knows one thing: The experts are full of beans. Earlier this year, we were told in no uncertain terms that the price of gasoline would never again go below three dollars a gallon, proper tire inflation be damned.
Well, it did, and AAA believes it will sink below two dollars a gallon this weekend as many Western states switch to the cheaper "winter blend." Funny, over the past few years, the experts have been wrong about a lot of things. But don't let that embolden your heart.
Just because we're getting a timely break at the pump doesn't mean that the commodities market is stable - anything but. They could easily roll out the barrel again where oil futures are concerned. For our part, we weathered this last bout of fossil-inflation quite well. It must be in our blood.
In the mid-1830s, Americans almost universally burned whale oil in their lamps. As the whale population declined (and as more people wanted to light their homes) the price of whale oil increased by roughly 540 percent. Then kerosene was introduced, and we were on our way to here.
What has worked in the past can work again, if not for our lamps, then at least for heating oil. Commercial whaling, in concept, could be viewed as a new form of renewable alternative energy. In practice, though, the more likely result would be the summary extinction of whales worldwide as Wall Street went Ahab on us all.
Given that, the next logical source of combustible blubber is the elephant, and not as in Hannibal crossing the Alps. I mean the logo on all the fear-and-smear mailers that jammed your mailbox last month. That's right. Republicans need to put their money where they put all that junk food.
Think of how many raw kilowatt hours are waisted on the likes of a Rush Limbaugh or a Dennis Hastert. Karl Rove would once more have some form of value. Tell me Bill O'Reilly doesn't need his chin sucked (perhaps, as a rare humanitarian exception, they could give it to Mitch McConnell).
Conservative fat cats serving hefty prison sentences could donate, as well, in exchange for a slight reduction in penalty; call it "lard time". I'm thinking Jack Abramoff, Duke Cunningham, guys like that. It wouldn't right all of the wrongs, but it would help them, and it would help society.
No doubt, there are some heavy Democrats out there, too. All should be encouraged - with yet another tax incentive if need be - to waddle on down to the nearest VA hospital for some bipartisan liposuction in the name of energy independence.
Come on, Butterworth, it's either this or you start buying American cars. Weigh in as part of the solution. If you could all just tighten up your belts a little bit, the other 95 percent of us wouldn't have to.
pH 11.13.o8
Friday, November 7, 2008
Sore Losers
Having spent the last two days listening to conservative talk radio (without medication), I can tell you that this has not been a fun week for right-wingers of all shades. For them, this election was about as much fun as throwing up in an outhouse.
What's going on is a bunch of fractious finger-pointing underpinned by shock and fear. The far-right blames the moderates. The moderates blame Sarah Palin. The libertarians blame everybody. The fiscals and evangelicals seem like they've had enough.
However, in a revealing display of their carefully-hidden selfishness, the voices of talk radio aren't interested in knitting the Party's broken bones. They're not discussing a filibuster strategy or plotting a House coup in 2010. Rather, they're crying about the Fairness Doctrine.
Official FCC policy since 1949 (and upheld by the Supreme Court upon challenge), the Fairness Doctrine more or less mandates that those license-holders who utilize the public airwaves must provide equal time for opposing views where strictly editorial content is concerned.
Conservative talk radio is strictly editorial content. The Fairness Doctrine doesn't really apply to, say, a sports station. It doesn't mean a religious station would have to book time for the Church of Satan. But those programs that pander to the base don't want these liberal fact-checkers in the next time slot - understandably so.
Really, though, the tone turned quite nasty this election. Violence has been done by people who are hooked on the line of thought that has for so long dominated the airwaves. Even so, I don't think the Fairness Doctrine, which has been squelched since the Reagan-Bush era, should be applied in this instance.
Admittedly, not imposing it would be a lot like letting Osama bin Laden slip away in Tora Bora, but I don't see these AM gas bags as a threat anymore. Given unfettered access to programming, they threw everything they had at President Obama. Every name in the book. Every card in the deck.
Hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month they hammered away. And their audience soaked it up. They bought every line, believed every word and obeyed every breathy, intoned instruction...
And got slaughtered.
Let these lemmings have their Pied Pipers (as if they need them). Leave them in their dark corners, their lower bowels of conservative media. It doesn't matter now. The Fairness Doctrine, alive and well, has just been enforced by the electorate.
pH 11.o7.o8
What's going on is a bunch of fractious finger-pointing underpinned by shock and fear. The far-right blames the moderates. The moderates blame Sarah Palin. The libertarians blame everybody. The fiscals and evangelicals seem like they've had enough.
However, in a revealing display of their carefully-hidden selfishness, the voices of talk radio aren't interested in knitting the Party's broken bones. They're not discussing a filibuster strategy or plotting a House coup in 2010. Rather, they're crying about the Fairness Doctrine.
Official FCC policy since 1949 (and upheld by the Supreme Court upon challenge), the Fairness Doctrine more or less mandates that those license-holders who utilize the public airwaves must provide equal time for opposing views where strictly editorial content is concerned.
Conservative talk radio is strictly editorial content. The Fairness Doctrine doesn't really apply to, say, a sports station. It doesn't mean a religious station would have to book time for the Church of Satan. But those programs that pander to the base don't want these liberal fact-checkers in the next time slot - understandably so.
Really, though, the tone turned quite nasty this election. Violence has been done by people who are hooked on the line of thought that has for so long dominated the airwaves. Even so, I don't think the Fairness Doctrine, which has been squelched since the Reagan-Bush era, should be applied in this instance.
Admittedly, not imposing it would be a lot like letting Osama bin Laden slip away in Tora Bora, but I don't see these AM gas bags as a threat anymore. Given unfettered access to programming, they threw everything they had at President Obama. Every name in the book. Every card in the deck.
Hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month they hammered away. And their audience soaked it up. They bought every line, believed every word and obeyed every breathy, intoned instruction...
And got slaughtered.
Let these lemmings have their Pied Pipers (as if they need them). Leave them in their dark corners, their lower bowels of conservative media. It doesn't matter now. The Fairness Doctrine, alive and well, has just been enforced by the electorate.
pH 11.o7.o8
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Thumpin' 2 (Electric Boogaloo)
(What I took from childhood sports.)
To my Senator and neighbor John McCain, and to Governor Sarah Palin, I say, good game.
Mr. Hannity, Mr. Limbaugh, Mr. Medved, Mr. O'Reilly: Good game, good game, good game, good game.
Yo, Rummy, Wolfie, Scooter, Grover. Good game, good game, good game, good game.
Hey, Rudy and Mitt, Huck and Fred, even Ron Paul; good game, man. Good game. Good game.
Jack Ryan, good game. Jeff Paulis, ditto. Bruce Jacobs, Todd Hartley, Andy the Janitor - good game, guys.
Phil, Aaron, Jim the Plumber, Al, c'mon. Good game, all of you. Especially you, Al.
So, that just leaves, eh, George. And, of course, Dick. Well, gentlemen, y'know...
That's it.
pH 11.o4.o8
To my Senator and neighbor John McCain, and to Governor Sarah Palin, I say, good game.
Mr. Hannity, Mr. Limbaugh, Mr. Medved, Mr. O'Reilly: Good game, good game, good game, good game.
Yo, Rummy, Wolfie, Scooter, Grover. Good game, good game, good game, good game.
Hey, Rudy and Mitt, Huck and Fred, even Ron Paul; good game, man. Good game. Good game.
Jack Ryan, good game. Jeff Paulis, ditto. Bruce Jacobs, Todd Hartley, Andy the Janitor - good game, guys.
Phil, Aaron, Jim the Plumber, Al, c'mon. Good game, all of you. Especially you, Al.
So, that just leaves, eh, George. And, of course, Dick. Well, gentlemen, y'know...
That's it.
pH 11.o4.o8
Monday, November 3, 2008
Consider the Source
A sampling of what passes for recent conservative thought:
"How did Obama respond? He suddenly discovered that his grandmother, who had supposedly been released from her hospital a week ago, when he showed no interest in her, needed his immediate attention. Cool, calm, collected Obama suddenly suspended his campaign and headed for Hawai'i." - Conservative commentator Andy Martin, October 20, 2008
***
"We're gonna raise the question of why Obama is headed to Hawaii. He certainly wouldn't take the time out to visit an ailing grandmother all of a sudden -- it is for other reasons, it is being speculated across the Internet that he was born in Kenya and he is not a U.S. citizen... There are people arguing that Obama is headed to Hawaii not so much to visit an ailing relative but to fudge the birth certificate in question." - Conservative talk-show host Michael Savage, October 22, 2008
***
"Well, Mr. Liddy, I'm headed out to Honolulu. I am not convinced that Barack Obama is going because his grandmother is sick. I appreciate that his grandmother is sick and he wants to be with her. I do recall that Barack Obama's mother died of cancer, and he didn't go to be by her side when she died. He relates that in his autobiography, Dreams From My Father." - Conservative author and commentator Jerome Corsi, October 22, 2008
***
"If Obama's grandmother is deathly ill, why has this been announced days ago, and he's only going now or tomorrow or whenever it is? Now, I understand, folks, Snerdley's got-- he's buried his head in his hands -- I understand this, my friends -- anything said about Obama is gonna be turned into an unfair, racist attack on the man, but I -- am I not asking the obvious questions? Who announces days in advance they're rushing to the side of a loved one who is deathly ill, but keeps campaigning in a race that's said to be over, only to go to the loved one's side days later?" - Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh, October 23, 2008
***
HONOLULU – Barack Obama's grandmother, whose personality and bearing shaped much of the life of the Democratic presidential contender, has died, Obama announced Monday, one day before the election. Madelyn Payne Dunham was 86. - Associated Press, November 3, 2008
***
I suppose they'll now say that Obama planned his grandmother's death in order to draw the sympathy vote... They and their followers are just low enough for that. Lord knows they've already tried everything else.
"How did Obama respond? He suddenly discovered that his grandmother, who had supposedly been released from her hospital a week ago, when he showed no interest in her, needed his immediate attention. Cool, calm, collected Obama suddenly suspended his campaign and headed for Hawai'i." - Conservative commentator Andy Martin, October 20, 2008
***
"We're gonna raise the question of why Obama is headed to Hawaii. He certainly wouldn't take the time out to visit an ailing grandmother all of a sudden -- it is for other reasons, it is being speculated across the Internet that he was born in Kenya and he is not a U.S. citizen... There are people arguing that Obama is headed to Hawaii not so much to visit an ailing relative but to fudge the birth certificate in question." - Conservative talk-show host Michael Savage, October 22, 2008
***
"Well, Mr. Liddy, I'm headed out to Honolulu. I am not convinced that Barack Obama is going because his grandmother is sick. I appreciate that his grandmother is sick and he wants to be with her. I do recall that Barack Obama's mother died of cancer, and he didn't go to be by her side when she died. He relates that in his autobiography, Dreams From My Father." - Conservative author and commentator Jerome Corsi, October 22, 2008
***
"If Obama's grandmother is deathly ill, why has this been announced days ago, and he's only going now or tomorrow or whenever it is? Now, I understand, folks, Snerdley's got-- he's buried his head in his hands -- I understand this, my friends -- anything said about Obama is gonna be turned into an unfair, racist attack on the man, but I -- am I not asking the obvious questions? Who announces days in advance they're rushing to the side of a loved one who is deathly ill, but keeps campaigning in a race that's said to be over, only to go to the loved one's side days later?" - Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh, October 23, 2008
***
HONOLULU – Barack Obama's grandmother, whose personality and bearing shaped much of the life of the Democratic presidential contender, has died, Obama announced Monday, one day before the election. Madelyn Payne Dunham was 86. - Associated Press, November 3, 2008
***
I suppose they'll now say that Obama planned his grandmother's death in order to draw the sympathy vote... They and their followers are just low enough for that. Lord knows they've already tried everything else.
Do the right thing on Tuesday, please, and shut these classless cowards up for good.
pH 11.o3.o8
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Personality Test
Times are what they always were. In the waning months of the first Bush presidency, times were tough. Money was tight, jobs were scarce, the economy wasn't worth a damn. I distinctly remember hunting for my food back then, and gardening, not to mention selling my plasma.
So here we are again. At least this time - knock on veneer - I'm in a better employment situation. Back then, one took whatever one could find, even if it meant low pay and long hours. Because I had friends, I was able to get a foot in the door at Montgomery Ward Auto Express.
I applied to be a Tire Specialist. It would be impolite to repeat some of the other names that were used to describe that job. I changed tires on cars and trucks, and did lube-oil-filters, and swapped out batteries... All the dirty, unskilled work.
Tire Specialists were also responsible for dumping the trash barrels and scrubbing the floors. It was tough, dangerous and unsatisfying, but it was employment. To get this wonderful opportunity, which paid $4.75 an hour, I actually had to take (and presumably pass) a personality test.
Anyone who has ever endured one of these things is probably just as flummoxed about it as I was. The questions made no sense at all, so I could only guess as to what might be the "correct" answers:
Would you consider yourself a marathon runner or a cross-country skier? (Neither.) Is it better to steal from a relative or a friend? (Depends on what you're stealing.) Would you rather be a clown or a bricklayer? (I don't see why I couldn't be both at the same time.)
My responses did not disqualify me from working at Montgomery Ward, and I don't regret the experience. It was hardly gainful, but I learned a lot, and have saved plenty of bread since then using the skills I acquired there. I also worked with good people, mostly, and that at least made it fun.
The personality test, though, has always stuck in my mind. What was the point? It was a lousy job that nobody else wanted. The fact that I could fill out an application should've been sufficient evidence that I was up to the task. The only real qualification seemed to be a strong back and a willingness to show up every day.
Anyway. Today, we are all prospective employers, mulling over a couple of job applications for the most important position our government offers. We've seen their resumes. We've checked their references. More than that, the 2008 presidential race has been, yes, a personality test.
Now I think I understand. Somehow, some way, John McCain and Sarah Palin have taken this thing and absolutely flunked. Nobody guessed that was even possible, or that the answers mattered, but we recognize that it has happened. It's not something we can put our finger on. It's something else.
Which would you rather have as president, a crazy fighter pilot, or a crazier moose skinner?
(Neither!)
pH 11.o1.o8
So here we are again. At least this time - knock on veneer - I'm in a better employment situation. Back then, one took whatever one could find, even if it meant low pay and long hours. Because I had friends, I was able to get a foot in the door at Montgomery Ward Auto Express.
I applied to be a Tire Specialist. It would be impolite to repeat some of the other names that were used to describe that job. I changed tires on cars and trucks, and did lube-oil-filters, and swapped out batteries... All the dirty, unskilled work.
Tire Specialists were also responsible for dumping the trash barrels and scrubbing the floors. It was tough, dangerous and unsatisfying, but it was employment. To get this wonderful opportunity, which paid $4.75 an hour, I actually had to take (and presumably pass) a personality test.
Anyone who has ever endured one of these things is probably just as flummoxed about it as I was. The questions made no sense at all, so I could only guess as to what might be the "correct" answers:
Would you consider yourself a marathon runner or a cross-country skier? (Neither.) Is it better to steal from a relative or a friend? (Depends on what you're stealing.) Would you rather be a clown or a bricklayer? (I don't see why I couldn't be both at the same time.)
My responses did not disqualify me from working at Montgomery Ward, and I don't regret the experience. It was hardly gainful, but I learned a lot, and have saved plenty of bread since then using the skills I acquired there. I also worked with good people, mostly, and that at least made it fun.
The personality test, though, has always stuck in my mind. What was the point? It was a lousy job that nobody else wanted. The fact that I could fill out an application should've been sufficient evidence that I was up to the task. The only real qualification seemed to be a strong back and a willingness to show up every day.
Anyway. Today, we are all prospective employers, mulling over a couple of job applications for the most important position our government offers. We've seen their resumes. We've checked their references. More than that, the 2008 presidential race has been, yes, a personality test.
Now I think I understand. Somehow, some way, John McCain and Sarah Palin have taken this thing and absolutely flunked. Nobody guessed that was even possible, or that the answers mattered, but we recognize that it has happened. It's not something we can put our finger on. It's something else.
Which would you rather have as president, a crazy fighter pilot, or a crazier moose skinner?
(Neither!)
pH 11.o1.o8
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Campbell Soup
Big Media appears determined to milk the 2008 election to the last drop. There's a lot of ad money at stake next Tuesday night, so they're more than banking on a tight race. This explains the kind of oversampling that keeps the polls relatively close. It would also explain CNN's Campbell Brown.
After Team McCain brought Sarah Palin on board, Brown was the first cable-news vamp to question the vice-presidential candidate's qualifications. Her line of questioning so offended staffer Tucker Bounds that a subsequently-scheduled interview with McCain was cancelled.
Today, Ms. Brown turns around and slams Barack Obama for "breaking his promise" to accept public campaign financing. This story is old, almost as old as Brown herself, and has already been butchered by some of the bloodiest right-wing hacks in the business.
"He pledged," she posts on CNN's website today, "to accept public financing and to work with the Republican nominee to ensure that they both operated within those limits. Then it became clear to Sen. Obama and his campaign that he was going to be able to raise on his own far more cash than he would get with public financing. So Obama went back on his word."
Earlier this year, such vagary was put to bed by fact-checkers at the Washington Post: "The Obama campaign is correct in arguing that there is nothing in the Feb. 1 letter to the FEC that can be fairly interpreted as committing the campaign to accepting public financing." (Two Pinnochios.)
What Obama actually "pledged" was to "aggressively pursue an agreement with the Republican nominee to preserve a publicly financed general election." Whether or not Obama pursued this pledge (or how aggressively) is neither here nor there.
The real question is easy: Why did donors, who banked so very heavily on two Bush campaigns, leave McCain out in the cold? Big business, small business, ordinary individuals, the plumbers' union - all gave of their earnings to support the Democrat this year.
It's easily enough understood, despite all the feigned shock among conservatives, never mind Campbell Brown. Monied interests believe that Obama is going to win the election. Does a good gambler bet on his favorite team, or the favored one?
It's called "smart money", just as Obama's separation from McCain's level of financing is smart money. Why would he hobble himself, something no other candidate has ever done or been asked to do, and why would the media want or expect him to?
Could it be due the obvious - if this election were a prizefight, a blue-shirted referee would have stepped in long ago to pull Obama off of the stumbling, flailing, glassy-eyed McCain? Such would be a humane response to a lopsided contest, the outcome of which is no longer much in doubt.
pH 1o.28.o8
After Team McCain brought Sarah Palin on board, Brown was the first cable-news vamp to question the vice-presidential candidate's qualifications. Her line of questioning so offended staffer Tucker Bounds that a subsequently-scheduled interview with McCain was cancelled.
Today, Ms. Brown turns around and slams Barack Obama for "breaking his promise" to accept public campaign financing. This story is old, almost as old as Brown herself, and has already been butchered by some of the bloodiest right-wing hacks in the business.
"He pledged," she posts on CNN's website today, "to accept public financing and to work with the Republican nominee to ensure that they both operated within those limits. Then it became clear to Sen. Obama and his campaign that he was going to be able to raise on his own far more cash than he would get with public financing. So Obama went back on his word."
Earlier this year, such vagary was put to bed by fact-checkers at the Washington Post: "The Obama campaign is correct in arguing that there is nothing in the Feb. 1 letter to the FEC that can be fairly interpreted as committing the campaign to accepting public financing." (Two Pinnochios.)
What Obama actually "pledged" was to "aggressively pursue an agreement with the Republican nominee to preserve a publicly financed general election." Whether or not Obama pursued this pledge (or how aggressively) is neither here nor there.
The real question is easy: Why did donors, who banked so very heavily on two Bush campaigns, leave McCain out in the cold? Big business, small business, ordinary individuals, the plumbers' union - all gave of their earnings to support the Democrat this year.
It's easily enough understood, despite all the feigned shock among conservatives, never mind Campbell Brown. Monied interests believe that Obama is going to win the election. Does a good gambler bet on his favorite team, or the favored one?
It's called "smart money", just as Obama's separation from McCain's level of financing is smart money. Why would he hobble himself, something no other candidate has ever done or been asked to do, and why would the media want or expect him to?
Could it be due the obvious - if this election were a prizefight, a blue-shirted referee would have stepped in long ago to pull Obama off of the stumbling, flailing, glassy-eyed McCain? Such would be a humane response to a lopsided contest, the outcome of which is no longer much in doubt.
pH 1o.28.o8
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Hit or Myth
There are still a couple of myths floating around the Amerisphere with regard to a potential Obama presidency. The best thing to do would be to puncture them now, let all that gas escape, and watch things settle down.
First is the stomach-turning notion that Barack Obama will be assassinated. This fear is particularly acute among the African-American community, and is understandable given our recent inability to learn anything from history. Take my word for it, though; ain't gonna happen.
I know the opposition's shelf is stocked with crackers and nuts, but assassinating the Democratic nominee before the election would backfire in the worst way. Who was the second-highest recipient of primary delegates? That'd be Hillary Clinton. They don't want that.
Even if it happened after the election, Vice President Joe Biden would ascend to the Oval Office, and who would he then choose as his VP? Hillary! Then - because he's old, you know - Biden would resign over health issues, or to spend more time with family, whatever, leaving Hillary in charge.
That much is obvious, even to those peering out from under the steepest of sloping brows. And it wouldn't be the usual Hillary, either, but a Hillary with a public mandate to emasculate all things conservative.
They can negotiate with Obama. They'll take their chances against him in 2012.
The other myth, far more laughable, is the idea that the U.S. would be attacked by terrorists under President Obama. Conservatives point to just such a remark made last week by Biden. But you know Biden - he borrowed that line from Joe Lieberman, who used it last June when he was hoping his old friend John McCain would select him to be his running mate.
Why haven't they attacked us again under George W. Bush, by the way? Because he gave the terrorists everything they wanted. Safe haven in Pakistan's tribal areas. A recruiting magnet and training grounds for jihadists in Iraq. A leader who waxes more and more like a theocratic dictator with each passing week.
In response to 9/11, the Bush administration moved us more in the direction of those despotic states that support terrorism. They torture; we torture. They lie to their people; we lie to our people. They rig elections; so does the GOP. We're now a debtor nation, one that remains addicted to oil, and the oil money is their skim.
Going forward, it may well be that we are attacked again, and may even be more likely under Obama; I'll take my chances in the light. It's no myth that al-Qaida would see an Obama victory as a sign that the Americans are moving in the direction of freedom again.
If there's anything Americans still know, it's how much the terrorists hate freedom. Maybe that's what makes Bush do the things he does. Maybe that's why McCain subscribes to the same mythology. They say, "freedom isn't free". And then they ask us to give it away.
pH 1o.25.o8
First is the stomach-turning notion that Barack Obama will be assassinated. This fear is particularly acute among the African-American community, and is understandable given our recent inability to learn anything from history. Take my word for it, though; ain't gonna happen.
I know the opposition's shelf is stocked with crackers and nuts, but assassinating the Democratic nominee before the election would backfire in the worst way. Who was the second-highest recipient of primary delegates? That'd be Hillary Clinton. They don't want that.
Even if it happened after the election, Vice President Joe Biden would ascend to the Oval Office, and who would he then choose as his VP? Hillary! Then - because he's old, you know - Biden would resign over health issues, or to spend more time with family, whatever, leaving Hillary in charge.
That much is obvious, even to those peering out from under the steepest of sloping brows. And it wouldn't be the usual Hillary, either, but a Hillary with a public mandate to emasculate all things conservative.
They can negotiate with Obama. They'll take their chances against him in 2012.
The other myth, far more laughable, is the idea that the U.S. would be attacked by terrorists under President Obama. Conservatives point to just such a remark made last week by Biden. But you know Biden - he borrowed that line from Joe Lieberman, who used it last June when he was hoping his old friend John McCain would select him to be his running mate.
Why haven't they attacked us again under George W. Bush, by the way? Because he gave the terrorists everything they wanted. Safe haven in Pakistan's tribal areas. A recruiting magnet and training grounds for jihadists in Iraq. A leader who waxes more and more like a theocratic dictator with each passing week.
In response to 9/11, the Bush administration moved us more in the direction of those despotic states that support terrorism. They torture; we torture. They lie to their people; we lie to our people. They rig elections; so does the GOP. We're now a debtor nation, one that remains addicted to oil, and the oil money is their skim.
Going forward, it may well be that we are attacked again, and may even be more likely under Obama; I'll take my chances in the light. It's no myth that al-Qaida would see an Obama victory as a sign that the Americans are moving in the direction of freedom again.
If there's anything Americans still know, it's how much the terrorists hate freedom. Maybe that's what makes Bush do the things he does. Maybe that's why McCain subscribes to the same mythology. They say, "freedom isn't free". And then they ask us to give it away.
pH 1o.25.o8
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Breaking Up Isn't Hard To Do
The 2008 election will be remembered as a new chapter inscribed in the American journal, historic for two reasons. One is the remarkable candidacy of Barack Obama. The other, which will reveal itself over time, is less obvious but just as certain.
Like the ice sheet that has for so long covered the North Pole, the Republican Party is breaking up, melting in its own heat. The calving of Colin Powell last Sunday (and the ensuing conservative backlash) is the most recent signal that the GOP is in full disintegration mode.
This didn't begin with the defections among conservative media, but that's what got everyone's attention. Columnist Kathleen Parker started the food fight, writing that Sarah Palin was "out of her league", an opinion which attracted death threats to her e-mailbox.
If she was surprised, she shouldn't have been. Alarmed, maybe. Even so, David Brooks followed in her footsteps, labeling Palin a "cancer" on the Party. Bill Kristol, resident neo-con at the New York Times, publicly advised John McCain to "fire his campaign".
George Will said McCain made some Republicans "fearful". Opposition to the McCain-Palin ticket even cost Christopher Buckley his job at the National Review, the publication founded by his celebrated father. All of this indicates just how ruffled are the feathers of the right wing.
The splinter groups are easily identified, even personified in the field that ran in the GOP primary. Fiscal conservatives preferred Mitt Romney. Evangelicals backed Mike Huckabee. Rudy Giuliani was the favorite of the security/immigration crowd. Libertarians had Ron Paul. And Fred Thompson appealed to Law and Order conservatives.
With so many choices, and all the degrees of overlap, they settled on McCain because they felt he had the best chance to win (they apparently didn't realize their own responsibility in the matter). We're two weeks out and they remain divided, unsure, while Obama has opened a double-digit lead in the latest polls.
Scattershot, too, is the McCain campaign's message; now the Democrat is being painted as a Socialist. Last week he was a Terrorist. Before that he was an Elitist. By November 4th, he'll probably be a Communist, as well.
In the wake of George W. Bush, the rank and file have scrambled out from under the Big Tent that Ronald Reagan constructed three decades ago. Canvas and lumber, not to mention dreams of a permanent majority, lie trampled in dust. This is what happens when the clowns are allowed to run the circus.
pH 1o.21.o8
Like the ice sheet that has for so long covered the North Pole, the Republican Party is breaking up, melting in its own heat. The calving of Colin Powell last Sunday (and the ensuing conservative backlash) is the most recent signal that the GOP is in full disintegration mode.
This didn't begin with the defections among conservative media, but that's what got everyone's attention. Columnist Kathleen Parker started the food fight, writing that Sarah Palin was "out of her league", an opinion which attracted death threats to her e-mailbox.
If she was surprised, she shouldn't have been. Alarmed, maybe. Even so, David Brooks followed in her footsteps, labeling Palin a "cancer" on the Party. Bill Kristol, resident neo-con at the New York Times, publicly advised John McCain to "fire his campaign".
George Will said McCain made some Republicans "fearful". Opposition to the McCain-Palin ticket even cost Christopher Buckley his job at the National Review, the publication founded by his celebrated father. All of this indicates just how ruffled are the feathers of the right wing.
The splinter groups are easily identified, even personified in the field that ran in the GOP primary. Fiscal conservatives preferred Mitt Romney. Evangelicals backed Mike Huckabee. Rudy Giuliani was the favorite of the security/immigration crowd. Libertarians had Ron Paul. And Fred Thompson appealed to Law and Order conservatives.
With so many choices, and all the degrees of overlap, they settled on McCain because they felt he had the best chance to win (they apparently didn't realize their own responsibility in the matter). We're two weeks out and they remain divided, unsure, while Obama has opened a double-digit lead in the latest polls.
Scattershot, too, is the McCain campaign's message; now the Democrat is being painted as a Socialist. Last week he was a Terrorist. Before that he was an Elitist. By November 4th, he'll probably be a Communist, as well.
In the wake of George W. Bush, the rank and file have scrambled out from under the Big Tent that Ronald Reagan constructed three decades ago. Canvas and lumber, not to mention dreams of a permanent majority, lie trampled in dust. This is what happens when the clowns are allowed to run the circus.
pH 1o.21.o8
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Mailbag Material
A communique from my old buddy Al, which came with an attached magazine cover (American Rifleman, November 2008), which extolled the horrors of a President Obama where gun rights are concerned:
Paul... I do not know how else to say this, except to say I have great misgivings regarding Obama's intentions. He is, simply put, not good for this country and its people. I am ashamed of the Democrats and what they have become, and what they are doing to America, and how it all is viewed by other 'stinking' countries...
***
Al, I recall the same hysteria about Bill Clinton... And we all suffered so mightily in the '90s, didn't we?
Clinton didn't take our guns away. Jimmy Carter didn't take our guns away. Lyndon Johnson didn't. JFK didn't, either. Neither did Harry S Truman or Franklin Roosevelt. Simply put, no Democrat has ever taken our guns away. It's propaganda to say that Obama will, and actually, it's about the most scurrilous, un-American thing that can be said about any president.
If anyone has damaged our fundamental rights - wiretapping, torture, overturning posse comitatus - it's the Bush administration. Here's a more interesting question: Name the last Republican who did NOT leave the Oval Office and the United States in a complete shambles at the end of his term...
You can't. One doesn't exist, not even the first Republican, Abraham Lincoln. But I still think Honest Abe would be proud of us today, on the brink of putting a Black man in office. That reflects the words of the Constitution - that all men are created equal.
As for the Second Amendment, there's nothing that Obama or anybody could do that would make it past the Supreme Court. The only Justices who might retire at this point are liberal ones, which a president Obama would replace (obviously) with younger appointees - apples for apples.
Basically, there's no chance of the Second Amendment being overturned in my lifetime. Don't buy into the right-wing hype, Al. It's not worth the price of admission anymore.
pH 1o.19.o8
Paul... I do not know how else to say this, except to say I have great misgivings regarding Obama's intentions. He is, simply put, not good for this country and its people. I am ashamed of the Democrats and what they have become, and what they are doing to America, and how it all is viewed by other 'stinking' countries...
***
Al, I recall the same hysteria about Bill Clinton... And we all suffered so mightily in the '90s, didn't we?
Clinton didn't take our guns away. Jimmy Carter didn't take our guns away. Lyndon Johnson didn't. JFK didn't, either. Neither did Harry S Truman or Franklin Roosevelt. Simply put, no Democrat has ever taken our guns away. It's propaganda to say that Obama will, and actually, it's about the most scurrilous, un-American thing that can be said about any president.
If anyone has damaged our fundamental rights - wiretapping, torture, overturning posse comitatus - it's the Bush administration. Here's a more interesting question: Name the last Republican who did NOT leave the Oval Office and the United States in a complete shambles at the end of his term...
You can't. One doesn't exist, not even the first Republican, Abraham Lincoln. But I still think Honest Abe would be proud of us today, on the brink of putting a Black man in office. That reflects the words of the Constitution - that all men are created equal.
As for the Second Amendment, there's nothing that Obama or anybody could do that would make it past the Supreme Court. The only Justices who might retire at this point are liberal ones, which a president Obama would replace (obviously) with younger appointees - apples for apples.
Basically, there's no chance of the Second Amendment being overturned in my lifetime. Don't buy into the right-wing hype, Al. It's not worth the price of admission anymore.
pH 1o.19.o8
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
We're Number Two!
Briefly, because I know how valuable your time is, from the Associated Press this morning:
BAGHDAD - American troops acting on a tip killed the No. 2 leader of al-Qaida in Iraq — a Moroccan known for his ability to recruit and motivate foreign fighters — in a raid in the northern city of Mosul, the U.S. military said Wednesday.
That's awesome. Any time we can take out the No. 2 guy in a terrorist organization is a good time for America. Hoo-ah. Our troops are so good at what we make them do that some in this country would like to see them doing it indefinitely.
Clearly, the last person anyone would want to be is the No. 2 leader of al-Qaida in Iraq. Being No. 1 is risky enough - ask Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's next of kin - but for No. 2, every day could potentially be the last. And it's been this way forever, it seems.
Why, this was the second No. 2 to go down just this year. MSNBC reported that the No. 2 leader of al-Qaida in Iraq was killed on March 2, 2008. I don't know if this success comes from racial profiling, or if these guys wear jerseys, or what.
Whatever the case, on September 28, 2007, it was reported that No. 2 was killed by U.S. troops in Mosul. (He was later deemed the "leader of foreign fighters" in Iraq - sound familiar?) Wait, though... Ten weeks before that, we actually captured the top leader of al-Qaida in Iraq, or so National Public Radio reported.
Naturally, we had already killed the leader of al-Qaida in Iraq in January of that same year. Basically we've been killing either the new leader, or the next leader, of al-Qaida in Iraq since September of 2005. The one time we all know for sure that we got him was in June of 2006 (Zarqawi).
His successor, himself a former No. 2, wound up in a pine box just four months later. Yet another second-stringer was reported captured on September 4, 2006 (same source, that pesky NPR). And that's just the stuff I found in the first two pages of a Yahoo! search.
Yeah, we're winning the war, all right. One No. 2 at a time.
pH 1o.15.o8
BAGHDAD - American troops acting on a tip killed the No. 2 leader of al-Qaida in Iraq — a Moroccan known for his ability to recruit and motivate foreign fighters — in a raid in the northern city of Mosul, the U.S. military said Wednesday.
That's awesome. Any time we can take out the No. 2 guy in a terrorist organization is a good time for America. Hoo-ah. Our troops are so good at what we make them do that some in this country would like to see them doing it indefinitely.
Clearly, the last person anyone would want to be is the No. 2 leader of al-Qaida in Iraq. Being No. 1 is risky enough - ask Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's next of kin - but for No. 2, every day could potentially be the last. And it's been this way forever, it seems.
Why, this was the second No. 2 to go down just this year. MSNBC reported that the No. 2 leader of al-Qaida in Iraq was killed on March 2, 2008. I don't know if this success comes from racial profiling, or if these guys wear jerseys, or what.
Whatever the case, on September 28, 2007, it was reported that No. 2 was killed by U.S. troops in Mosul. (He was later deemed the "leader of foreign fighters" in Iraq - sound familiar?) Wait, though... Ten weeks before that, we actually captured the top leader of al-Qaida in Iraq, or so National Public Radio reported.
Naturally, we had already killed the leader of al-Qaida in Iraq in January of that same year. Basically we've been killing either the new leader, or the next leader, of al-Qaida in Iraq since September of 2005. The one time we all know for sure that we got him was in June of 2006 (Zarqawi).
His successor, himself a former No. 2, wound up in a pine box just four months later. Yet another second-stringer was reported captured on September 4, 2006 (same source, that pesky NPR). And that's just the stuff I found in the first two pages of a Yahoo! search.
Yeah, we're winning the war, all right. One No. 2 at a time.
pH 1o.15.o8
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Ms. Sean Hannity
(Oh, there you are.)
As this election cycle draws to its inevitable conclusion, mercifully, one American thing has already changed. In a bipartisan fashion the public has finally learned to mistrust the media.
While this has long been a conservative pet peeve, only in the past few years has the news industry (along with the remoratti of prognosticators and pontificators) truly earned such a jaded filter. From the Iraq war on, the for-profit media's flaws have been clear and multi-faceted.
Forget the ink and paper; everyone else has. Network news has become Sesame Street for adults. The cable channels are something more akin to propaganda instruments. Talk-radio is strictly the stuff of P.T. Barnum. Even National Public Radio has become infected with corporate sponsorship.
Clearly, since you're reading this, you take your chances in cyberspace, but how reliable can that be? On our watch, and at our peril, the Fourth Estate has become predictable and pedestrian. The forest is the trees.
Strangely enough, all of this brings us to Sean Hannity, for there is no better personification of the schmaltz that passes for modern media. Pick your poison - television, radio, print, Internet - it's hard to avoid tripping over the famed broadcaster and ventriloquist.
A better cheerleader than Dubya ever was, he has relentlessly deified the inexplicable Sarah Palin, far beyond the point of suspicion about any mere crush. It obviously goes much deeper than that. You can see it glittering in those dewy gerbil eyes of his.
Simply put, Sean Hannity is Sarah Palin trapped in a man's body. When he looks at her, he's gazing into his own internal vanity mirror. It would complete him if only he could be that hockey mom.
As much as this man has accomplished in the world of jaundice journalism, he still has a dream. He'd give more than his left nut to be the ruler of a petro-state, never mind having the chance to sit in Dick Cheney's chair wearing a skirt. Being Sarah Palin would make Sean Hannity the lord and master of his own fecund womb.
It would also mean more time spent with the hairdresser and makeup artist, and less on the waxing table, and would provide a built-in excuse for those angry spells (s)he seems to have every month. Best of all, (s)he'd get to actually screw a Union steel worker, ever' night.
Their mutual confusions about scripture and the Constitution could dance like angels on their pin of a head. Sean might not make her any smarter, but (s)he would relish the potential for an exchange of talking points with someone in real power, if only at the RNC.
This is all just fantasy to Americans who want to believe that there might be a change in the course that conservatives have beset upon the nation. In the end, whatever happens to the rest of us, Sean Hannity will be left with the same treasures - money, overexposure, political futility...
And still, perhaps, a dream.
pH 1o.11.o8
As this election cycle draws to its inevitable conclusion, mercifully, one American thing has already changed. In a bipartisan fashion the public has finally learned to mistrust the media.
While this has long been a conservative pet peeve, only in the past few years has the news industry (along with the remoratti of prognosticators and pontificators) truly earned such a jaded filter. From the Iraq war on, the for-profit media's flaws have been clear and multi-faceted.
Forget the ink and paper; everyone else has. Network news has become Sesame Street for adults. The cable channels are something more akin to propaganda instruments. Talk-radio is strictly the stuff of P.T. Barnum. Even National Public Radio has become infected with corporate sponsorship.
Clearly, since you're reading this, you take your chances in cyberspace, but how reliable can that be? On our watch, and at our peril, the Fourth Estate has become predictable and pedestrian. The forest is the trees.
Strangely enough, all of this brings us to Sean Hannity, for there is no better personification of the schmaltz that passes for modern media. Pick your poison - television, radio, print, Internet - it's hard to avoid tripping over the famed broadcaster and ventriloquist.
A better cheerleader than Dubya ever was, he has relentlessly deified the inexplicable Sarah Palin, far beyond the point of suspicion about any mere crush. It obviously goes much deeper than that. You can see it glittering in those dewy gerbil eyes of his.
Simply put, Sean Hannity is Sarah Palin trapped in a man's body. When he looks at her, he's gazing into his own internal vanity mirror. It would complete him if only he could be that hockey mom.
As much as this man has accomplished in the world of jaundice journalism, he still has a dream. He'd give more than his left nut to be the ruler of a petro-state, never mind having the chance to sit in Dick Cheney's chair wearing a skirt. Being Sarah Palin would make Sean Hannity the lord and master of his own fecund womb.
It would also mean more time spent with the hairdresser and makeup artist, and less on the waxing table, and would provide a built-in excuse for those angry spells (s)he seems to have every month. Best of all, (s)he'd get to actually screw a Union steel worker, ever' night.
Their mutual confusions about scripture and the Constitution could dance like angels on their pin of a head. Sean might not make her any smarter, but (s)he would relish the potential for an exchange of talking points with someone in real power, if only at the RNC.
This is all just fantasy to Americans who want to believe that there might be a change in the course that conservatives have beset upon the nation. In the end, whatever happens to the rest of us, Sean Hannity will be left with the same treasures - money, overexposure, political futility...
And still, perhaps, a dream.
pH 1o.11.o8
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