Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Finish What We Started

Afghanistan. The Graveyard of Empires. Obama's Vietnam. That's the long and short of the chatter on the left, and pay no attention to the gyrations of conservatives as they try to use this conundrum to their advantage.

It doesn't matter to either side that Afghanistan is a mess of the previous president's making. The push for Barack Obama to pull out of that country, such as it is, has grown steadily since Inauguration Day. It should, and from all the signs will, be ignored.

Only those interested in political gamesmanship at any cost would argue the notion that George W. Bush completely neglected the Afghan conflict. The only time it appeared on his radar was when it served his own purposes to exploit the (friendly-fire) death of football star Pat Tillman. Yes, it's safe to say that we have never given Afghanistan much of a chance.

Iraq is a war we need to end. Afghanistan is a war we need to finish. It would be near unholy to leave those poor people in the same mess that Republican leaders left them in 20 years ago. When we did that in the post-Soviet era, the seeds of al-Qaida were planted, and 9/11 was the result. Listen to your history teacher.

If this puts me on the same page as some conservatives, well, ouch. I take this position with very little optimism. The Karzai government is damn near as corrupt as the Bush administration was. The military's top commander there, Gen. Stanley McChrystal, was chiefly responsible for the coverup in Tillman's untimely death. The poppy trade ensures that the "bad guys" will retain the power on the ground.

The Taliban are tough as nails, and the war-weary populace has grown indifferent (on a sunny day) to our presence. And it is, of course, the Graveyard of Empires. Our only real hope is to prove to them that America - despite the Dick Cheneys of the world - is no empire. We are not the Russians, or the British, or the Romans.

If they can be convinced of that, they may well cling to the democracy for which many of our troops have given their lives, and turn their backs on the extremism of our enemies. This administration has a very brief window of time in which to make that case to both Afghanis and Americans.

Something good could still come from our sacrifice if we try. By abandoning Afghanistan, we would guarantee the exact opposite.

pH 9.29.o9

Monday, September 21, 2009

Hammer and Stickle

Hey, you, psssst. C'mere. No, closer, so you can hear me whispering. That's better. Listen up:

DID YOU KNOW THAT BARACK OBAMA IS A COMMUNIST?

Surely you have heard. It is possible that the only reason this did not raise an alarm in your head is that you've already heard so many other things about our president. Depending on who's saying it, the man has also been labeled a socialist, a Marxist, even a terrorist.

While nobody alive can remember any Communist government ever wanting to "spread the wealth around", it is generally that obstinant minority of right-wingers among us who are spreading the unpatriotic slander around today.

It's interesting to note that Bill Clinton, too, was called such unflattering and inflammatory names. He only presided over the largest economic boom in our nation's history, wiping away nearly all of the debt we had incurred under Reagan.

Obama does not appear to be on such a strong fiscal projection, but nobody with a brain would expect such, considering the depth of the mud in which his predecessor left our economy. The actions he has taken so far, in as much as they have negated this recession already, smack more of pragmatism than Communism.

That will not matter to those who make this foul accusation. They are too foolish to understand that their behavior is so un-American as to make Aldrich Ames blush. When it comes to painting the town red, though, they really ought to take notice of their own conservative heroes.

There is but one great bastion of Communism left in the world, that being China, which really blossomed as a superpower during the last administration. When George W. Bush took office in 2001, the U.S. trade deficit with China stood at $83 billion. By the time The Great Manipulator shit-kicked his way out of the White House, it had swollen to $268 billion.

Last summer, when Beijing hosted the Olympics, Bush was the first sitting U.S. president to attend the games on foreign soil. I am sure his Communist hosts made sure he was very comfortable. But what could he say? After all, it was the Chi-Coms who were bankrolling his fraudulent war in Iraq.

China's Communist neighbor, North Korea, also went ballistic in the last eight years. Under the Clinton administration, their plutonium reactor was shut down, and inspectors were allowed to monitor their nuclear ambitions. With Bush on duty, Kim Jon-Il kicked out the inspectors and put together several nuclear weapons.

It was Bush, again, who so lovingly called his Russian counterpart "Pooty-Poot". It was Bush who claimed to have looked into the former KGB leader's eyes and taken measure of his soul. Apparently, Dubya liked what he saw, as he went on to make any dictator proud with his use of torture, wiretaps, renditions and gulags.

President Obama may do many unorthodox things during his tenure, but none of it will compare to all of that. So I chuckle out loud whenever some conservative struggles to spell these big words on their rally signs. I can only think of one thing to say to them.

Look in the mirror... Comrade.

pH 9.21.o9

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thanks for Nothing

Now that the Senate health care bill has moved beyond the desk of Max Fuckus - sorry, typo - Max Baucus ("D"., Montana), it has a chance to be repaired, revamped and remade into something that the public actually wants. As it stands, all it needs is some gift wrap, and it can be stuffed into the insurance industry's Christmas stocking early.

That which came from the Finance Committee should be considered a form of misdemeanor treason. If these were the good old days, another Senator would feel compelled take stern measures against Baucus for this, such as a duel in the street.

In the Baucus bill, President Obama is given half of the loaf he wants, that being a "mandate" for all Americans to purchase health insurance. What isn't there is a public option for those whose employers do not offer health-care benefits and who do not make enough money to pay the exorbitant costs thereof.

Those of you who actually pay premiums every month don't use the system so much. Oh, you go in for your physicals, and you cash in a prescription now and then, but you're not the ones getting triple bypasses and whatnot. By and large, the people who utilize the system the most are 65 and older - and they have Medicare. So the money you send away every month isn't being transferred over to the medical professionals.

Rather, it gets stuffed under some CEO's mattress. Or it goes to organizations like Dick Armey's Freedom Works, which drum up phony town-hall outrage to cover said CEO's fat backside. Or it goes to people in Congress (like Max Baucus) who steer legislation in the health care syndicate's preferred direction.

You know what, America? The political system isn't working for you. Even someone as gifted as Barack Obama can't budge this thing. The Man's too big. The Man's too strong. The insurance companies are too powerful. They have too much (of our) money.

We cannot rely on, or trust, the government to pry this gigantic parasite from our backs. We have to kill the insurance industry ourselves. But how? It would be easy. All it takes is some faith and some courage. You could quietly win this fight in a matter of months if you had the guts to try:

Just Say No to Health Care. All Americans should, at this point, suck it up and unanimously cancel their policies. See who lasts longer. Absent your money, they would collapse in a very short time. Never mind the boost the economy would receive as a result of you (and your employer) getting to keep your daily bread.

If you say that's too frightening, I say you are a wimp, and you need to start acting like an American already. Come on. Walk the tightrope. Some may fall off, but that's what the emergency rooms are for. That's why bankruptcy protection exists.

At the very least we could all abandon one targeted company (United, Pacifica, Matria, somebody) and put them out of business... But we won't. We couldn't even do that with respect to the price of gasoline. We can't organize. We can't defeat the powers that buy our Senators and use them like golf tees. We can't.

Thus, we leave our hopes up to a president who will be brave enough to try but cannot possibly succeed, not with such monied interests for adversaries, and certainly not with the Republican Party mindlessly attacking him at every turn. We will be stuck with a system that requires us to be hooked up to a machine that sucks the very blood from our veins.

Do you think you deserve better? No, you don't. You don't deserve better because you won't demand it. So, after all this time and money having been wasted, this is what our health care system has been reduced to.

Leeches.

pH 9.17.o9

Thursday, September 10, 2009

George Wept

A glimpse ahead at the 22nd Century American Schoolbook:

On September 11, 2001, highly-paid and highly-skilled professional operatives - disguised and identified as Middle Eastern terrorists - were hired by the Bush administration to fly "hijacked" airliners into the World Trade Center, killing nearly 3,000 people. This allowed the Bush administration to launch an artificial "war on terror" which resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people around the world, toppled a number of sovereign governments and profited the military-industrial complex to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars.

Why not? In today's political environment, conservatives have no problem whatsoever spewing out lie after lie after lie. There is a cable news channel dedicated solely to this endeavor of falsehood. 90 percent of the programming on AM radio is dedicated to deception. The Heritage Foundation and other right-wing think-tanks broker out deals with conservative publishers to buy and give (or throw) away tens of thousands of books, stuffed with vitriolic hokum, in order to push the most extreme of lunatics to the top of the New York Times best-seller list (even as they regularly excoriate the Times as a bastion of leftist doctrine).

What are they all lying about? The Democrats. The liberals. Obama. America. Same old stuff as always. Everything. Every day. Sundays. Holidays.

Now let's switch to physics class. If you take a metal rod and stretch it back to a 45-degree angle, and then release it, does it (A) stop back at the zero-degree point, or (B) does the impetus of its contorted composition force it beyond that point? If you guessed (B), then you're a smart kid, whose parents likely left you in school one-hundred percent of the time.

It is as undeniable as it is unfortunate: The seeds sewn by conservatives will come back to haunt them. Let's look forward to that schoolbook again:

In the ensuing chaos the U.S. government, which was led at the time by the now-defunct Republican Party, took advantage of the shock-stricken populace by passing the infamous USA Patriot Act. Akin to dipping the Constitution in a vat of acid, this resulted in the immediate dissolution of the Fourth and Fifth Amendments, and in effect curtailed nearly all other rights previously enjoyed by American citizens.

When South Carolina Congressman pro tem Joe Wilson hollered out, like a little kid, "You lie!" during President Obama's address on Wednesday night, it was as though a thick yellow line had been drawn across this problem with a Hi-Liter. The proper response manifested itself in the form of a half-million dollar donation windfall into Wilson's opponent's coffers - in less than 24 hours.

The attitude that was fomented by the town-hall meetings, this Bozo-as-kamikaze psycho-drama, has bled even into our representatives. If this were a mere stain on the decorum of government we could easily shrug it off. It's much worse than that, but even if it isn't, who's ever going to know?

In the ensuing shift to progressive liberalism, which began with the election of the first African-American president (Barack Obama) in 2008, the worst propagandists were rounded up and placed into permanent federal custody. Rush Limbaugh, addicted to prescription painkillers and the illicit foreign sex trade, was the easiest of the bunch to bring down. Also convicted were Sean Hannity (for encouraging hostility against the government), Michael Medved (for conspiracy to commit espionage on behalf of Israel) and Glenn Beck (same as Hannity).

None of this is helpful in any way. There has always been a sleight-of-hand kind of dishonesty in American politics, but now it is turning pathological. Nobody will ever understand why anything is being done in our name, and facts - history - will cease to matter. Or will cease to exist.

This will forever erase the very sacrifices upon which the foundation of our liberty rests. They already say that the New Deal failed, that the Civil War was a tie. Next they'll be saying that Jack Kennedy committed suicide. This erosion of the truth is a cancer, whether the lie is about "death panels" or weapons of mass destruction, that threatens to consume our nation.

It keeps us at arm's length from honor and tradition, turns our wine into water. It reduces 9/11 to Non-Eleven. It has to stop - no, that's too passive. It has to be stopped.

Somewhere in Heaven (I'm pretty sure) is a beautiful cherry orchard. Amidst the smell of the blossoms, surrounded by bushels of sweet bounty, is an old man in a powdered wig. He sits on a stump, hatchet at his feet, sobbing into his hands.

pH 9.1o.o9

Friday, September 4, 2009

What About the Children?

Wow. The President of the United States has finally gone too far.

Taking on the health-insurance industry is one thing. Winding down the war(s) is another. Propping up failing businesses with freshly-printed money, negotiating with countries that once were considered major spokes in the "Axis of Evil", where does the craziness end?

The answer: Right where it probably began... In elementary school. On Tuesday night, Barack Obama will give a speech to be televised to students. He is expected to strengthen the worthwile concepts of studying hard and staying in school. Why bother?

Apparently our new Commander in Chief has grown so tired of puerile Republicans that he figured he might just as well waste his time trying to communicate with actual children. To be sure, these pupils have absolutely nothing to offer at this point, so there is little benefit to Obama in the deal.

As is their wont, conservatives have recoiled in horror over the idea, as if Obama were not following in the footsteps of former presidents Ronald Reagan and George Herbert Walker Bush. Dubya appeared before schoolchildren once, and planes started smashing into buildings, so their fear would be understandable if they would just say that's what this is about.

Their objections, though, have been mostly limited to the notion that the White House is pushing an "agenda" on the kids. Some schools have refused to broadcast (see censored) the speech, or have issued permission slips for parents to sign. Others say they will first record the president's speech, okay, and review it to ensure its relevance to their curriculum.

Al Gore could have told Barack Obama that this would happen. Or maybe he did, and this is just another brilliant PR game that Obama is running, hoping that the bulk of the populace will notice the predictable right-wing hysteria. Such a spotlight might help cut through all the chaff that has littered town-hall meetings for the past five weeks.

The latest lunacy on that front, by the way, comes from Thousand Oaks, California. A conservative punched a liberal in the face (for invading his space, he said) and in the ensuing melee had his finger bitten off. Since he had Medicare, it was no problem to get it reattached.

We can surmise, then, that there are already more than adequate resources being directed toward dental health, and certainly not enough attention is being paid to mental health. As with most Republican causes, some balance is needed.

No wonder President Obama wants to meld minds with a five-year old.

pH

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A Moving Experience

Everyone is familiar with the alleged phenomena of religious figures appearing in contemporary food products. It is not uncommon for (mostly) normal people to discover Pope John Paul II in a griddle-cake, or the Virgin Mary in a tortilla, or Jesus Himself in a slice of sourdough toast.

I used to find these events somewhat distasteful. After all, seriously religious people know better than to seek out graven images. Such behavior is nothing to admire. Obviously the public, private and parochial schools had all utterly failed to teach physics to Americans.

That all changed for me this morning. Actually, it changed last night, when I consumed several margaritas along with three baskets of chips, salsa, refried beans and guacamole dip. What came about this morning, then, was one of the more prolonged bowel movements of my adult life.

With the patience of a saint, I'll be damned if what I produced did not look exactly like Ronald Wilson Reagan. Call me a new believer, but now I'm forced to wonder just how long the 40th President of the United States has been circulating in my colon. I can only thank God that he is there no longer.

I tried to photograph this true miracle, but it didn't really translate into megapixels. Reagan didn't look like Reagan in 2D; he just looked like a regular old turd.

My only other option would have been to fish him out and have him preserved in laminate. There just wasn't time, so in the end I did what most people would have done without hesitation, and flushed The Gipper down the toilet.

Is there a moral to this fascinating story? Well, in the end, there must be (if nothing more practical than the importance of maintaining a healthy diet). We can look to the Heavens for the answer... Only to notice the gigantic thunderhead that looks suspiciously like Richard Nixon.

pH 9.o2.o9