The Big Free

Up until now, I have listened carefully to the debate over whether or not to bail out the "Big Three". With executives from Detroit appearing today before Congress, the subject is finally worth weighing in on - not by me, but by my buddy, Mick the Mechanic.

Mick has worked at a Ford dealership in Michigan for a terribly long time now. Seeing as this is his brand of gainful employment, he has a vested interest in his company's future. So I called him up to see how he's been doing just lately.

As per usual, I had to wait while he scrubbed his hands before he could pick up the phone. By the time he got to it, he was fairly animated, and I was itching to get the inside story.

How's it going, man? Worried at all about your job?

"My job? No. The place where I work? Yeah, I'm worried about them, but I can turn wrench anywhere. No matter who makes 'em, cars will always break down."

I get you. So is your dealership actually in trouble?

"The sales department sure is, but that's the case at any dealership, any make or model. Nobody's driving new cars off the lot. It's down by, like, forty percent."

Ouch. Who's to blame for this mess?

"You're gonna have to tell me. I just work on cars."

Well, everyone says that U.S. auto companies are poorly managed, that they make products that people don't seem to want, and that they are hobbled by bloated Union contracts. But it still doesn't seem fair to me to say that they've shot themselves in the foot, not when the overall economy fizzled alongside them. People aren't buying cars because they can't afford them. If it's any consolation, they're not sending their kids to college, either.

"College tuition keeps going up, though. They're makin' money. Car prices have dropped through the floor, and they still just sit on the lot. What gets me is that every stupid banker in America, every idiot who gambled our money and lost, gets a bailout, but not the working man."

Right. And remember that those institutions, we were told, are too big to fail. But the Big Three... Who cares?

"About three and a half million people, that's who. Like we weren't hurt enough already. The goddamn government's willing to let us all die on the vine."

No, no. The government isn't rooting for you to fail. Conservatives are.

"Oh, come on, man. The Republicans aren't even in power anymore. They lost, big-time."

That's true but it doesn't let them off the hook. They're the ones who pushed the far-flung notion of being an 'ownership society', complete with long commutes. They're the ones who gave an 85 percent tax credit to businesses on full-size trucks, vans and Hummers. They're also the ones who deregulated commodities, allowing speculators to then have their way with the oil markets, all the while mocking conservation as a personal virtue.

"Okay, say it is their fault. They've already been punished by the voters. That doesn't mean shit to the car companies, never mind the workers who just want their daily bread. Is the government going to own up to any of that?"

They don't see why they should.

"Because this country owes the Big Three, that's why. There were a few years there, you know, where they didn't make one dime selling cars. They were too busy cranking out planes, tanks, trucks, jeeps and ambulances. If the Motor City hadn't stepped up in World War II, all cars today'd be either German or Japanese... Know what I mean?"

As per usual, my buddy Mick was right. We ended the conversation with stock pleasantries, said goodbye, and hung up. I know what he did - he went right back to work.

As for me, I sat there for a few minutes, just looking at my hands. My clean hands.

pH 11.19.o8