T'is the day after Christmas, and all through my head, not an issue is stirring, living or dead.
I gave Doc a copy of my book for Christmas last week. I still have a box full of them - vanity lives on for years - so a few people got one. It's a core sample of the articles that were posted on the old Heller Mountain website between the events of 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. You can still find remnants of some of those rants, like this one:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x28998
Doc is a good guy. He ran for the Arizona legislature last November as a Democrat, which means he lost, but he at least developed a pathologist's view of American politics. There is no room for discourse, at least in Arizona, he says. It bears mentioning that there is also no room for a time machine here, and for the same reason: No such thing exists.
Our beloved "discourse" consists of like-minded people screaming inside their own echo chambers. Back-and-forth dialogue, with which the Founding Fathers had hoped to replace flying lead, is in no way a part of the game anymore.
Doc shakes his head when he talks about it. He's enjoying the book, though, calling it "stream of consciousness" and comparing my work to that of Hunter S. Thompson (who committed suicide). Good enough for me.
"But you don't blog anymore," he said. It wasn't a question. I half-agreed. Very little, I told him, and that prompted Doc to ask me why.
"Because I no longer feel sorry for the American people," I said. "They're getting what they asked for." Doc absorbed that by folding his arms, frowning and nodding his head in affirmation.
Back in the day, I wrote fifteen, twenty columns a month. Every day there was something to bellow about. It seemed to me that the American people were victims of something awful that was being done to our country. I wanted to warn them.
Maybe I just wanted to be able to tell them, later, that they had been warned. Well, here we are. It brings me no joy at all to say it: I told you so... Only now, I actually consider the American people complicit in the situation at hand.
It's no secret who the bad guys are in this passion play, this winding down of our once-well-intentioned empire: Conservatives, under the leadership of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Tom DeLay, Bill Frist and a whole host of others, wrecked this country to the point where it may not be salvageable.
In response, the public shrugged, and put the GOP back in power. Has anything changed among those people since the crumbling of the nation all those (two) years ago? If anything, they've only gotten worse - louder, dumber and uglier.
Somehow, national amnesia (or something worse) caused the electorate to restore insanity to politics. I'm supposed to feel sorry for that?
Okay. Keep checking back in this space to see if I ever lament again for the citizenry the way I did when it mattered the most. And keep checking.
Merry Christmas, Doc.
pH 12.26.1o
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Ah, What Did They Know?
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. - The Founding Fathers
***
One can only wonder what George, Ben, Tom and the rest of that rabble would have thought of the TSA where their treasured Fourth Amendment was concerned. Only in our airports, atop the slippery slope, can a government agent unreasonably search a person's effects and papers without a warrant. They do this to every single person in line.
This somehow did not bother most Americans until this year, when the airport security apparatchik added "optical scanners" to their arsenal of efficiency. These full-body, big-screen X-ray vision machines have made people uncomfortable even in this high-definition Internet era.
But this is a free country, some still say, so one always has the option of not being bombarded with the equivalent of cancer-causing CT scans; one can opt for a "pat-down". Only it isn't a pat-down. It's the kind of frisking that most citizens only see on re-runs of NYPD Blue...
Except that such hands-on treatment is usually reserved for bad guys, or suspected bad guys. Not for someone who's just trying to get to a wedding in Florida. That's all a Michigan man was doing when a recent TSA "pat-down" caused his urostomy bag to break, spilling his urine all over him.
More disturbing is the selection of children to suffer this freakish anti-Bill of Rights ignonimity. Who wants to look at a little kid in full-body, big-screen X-ray vision? Worse than that, who's looking to feel up a little kid in an office just off the concourse?
All of this has caused something of a backlash. The public is, after all, a mighty and forgotten thing. We have the ability to screw things up just by acting like the sheep the authorities believe us to be. An online movement sprang up in the past week, with today being the busiest travel day of the year.
Everyone has been urged to take a pass on the optical scanner, to insist on a mild mugging from a blue-gloved security guard instead. This could potentially slow the lines down to the point where people would miss their flights, creating the kind of logistical nightmare that normally would only afflict the airlines on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.
Sojourners, you have my blessing, and the blessings of the Framers of the Constitution. Force them to reconsider their ways. And anyone who whines that "this is all for our safety", well, I would call you a slimy, un-American coward who has no place left in the land of the free and the home of the brave, so why'n't you make your next flight a one-way?
Check it out: A crime is committed every day in this country involving a car and a gun and a dead body left behind. Do we have checkpoints at every intersection and freeway exit? No, we don't.
Read it again, and please try to understand. Try to understand that your rights are being violated every time you get on an airplane. Try:
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
It doesn't say, "Except..." And it sure as Hell doesn't say accept.
pH 11.24.1o
***
One can only wonder what George, Ben, Tom and the rest of that rabble would have thought of the TSA where their treasured Fourth Amendment was concerned. Only in our airports, atop the slippery slope, can a government agent unreasonably search a person's effects and papers without a warrant. They do this to every single person in line.
This somehow did not bother most Americans until this year, when the airport security apparatchik added "optical scanners" to their arsenal of efficiency. These full-body, big-screen X-ray vision machines have made people uncomfortable even in this high-definition Internet era.
But this is a free country, some still say, so one always has the option of not being bombarded with the equivalent of cancer-causing CT scans; one can opt for a "pat-down". Only it isn't a pat-down. It's the kind of frisking that most citizens only see on re-runs of NYPD Blue...
Except that such hands-on treatment is usually reserved for bad guys, or suspected bad guys. Not for someone who's just trying to get to a wedding in Florida. That's all a Michigan man was doing when a recent TSA "pat-down" caused his urostomy bag to break, spilling his urine all over him.
More disturbing is the selection of children to suffer this freakish anti-Bill of Rights ignonimity. Who wants to look at a little kid in full-body, big-screen X-ray vision? Worse than that, who's looking to feel up a little kid in an office just off the concourse?
All of this has caused something of a backlash. The public is, after all, a mighty and forgotten thing. We have the ability to screw things up just by acting like the sheep the authorities believe us to be. An online movement sprang up in the past week, with today being the busiest travel day of the year.
Everyone has been urged to take a pass on the optical scanner, to insist on a mild mugging from a blue-gloved security guard instead. This could potentially slow the lines down to the point where people would miss their flights, creating the kind of logistical nightmare that normally would only afflict the airlines on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.
Sojourners, you have my blessing, and the blessings of the Framers of the Constitution. Force them to reconsider their ways. And anyone who whines that "this is all for our safety", well, I would call you a slimy, un-American coward who has no place left in the land of the free and the home of the brave, so why'n't you make your next flight a one-way?
Check it out: A crime is committed every day in this country involving a car and a gun and a dead body left behind. Do we have checkpoints at every intersection and freeway exit? No, we don't.
Read it again, and please try to understand. Try to understand that your rights are being violated every time you get on an airplane. Try:
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
It doesn't say, "Except..." And it sure as Hell doesn't say accept.
pH 11.24.1o
Monday, October 18, 2010
Lock, Stock and Both Barrels
Sometimes Christmas comes early.
That was the sentiment as my sweetheart and I swept into Tombstone, Arizona for Helldorado Days. The weather was sweet, the town was packed, and we truly had nothing better to do.
It sure adds up, though. Four pairs of jeans out of the Shady Lady. Cigars at the Smoke Shop. Fudge and fishnet stockings from Madame Moustache (right next to Big Nose Kate's Saloon). A period-piece silk dress from Trash-E Tricia's, complete with gloves, bustle and feathered hair clip.
That's just the money we spent on the lady. Never mind the barbecue beef sandwiches and beers at the Silver Nugget. Or more beers at the Crystal Palace. Or the tee-shirts that you can only get at the Tombstone Epitaph. Or that nickel-plated double-barrel shotgun. I'm sure I'll find a use for it.
Yeah, this trip set us back a little bit, but Tombstone is always worth it. So is our economy. There are two false axioms at play in our current economic climate, two things that you hear people saying, to our nation's collective detriment.
The first thing: "The economy is bad; I don't want to spend any money." The absolute lack of logic in that statement is stunning. It makes just as much sense to say, "I'm dying of thirst. I'd better not drink any water."
The second thing is more pernicious. I use that word because it is a thing most often said by pernicious people. They say that they can't do any spending, or any hiring, or any investing, or any lending, because of uncertainty of it all. What are they uncertain about? They're not sure...
What they're really talking about is the unlikelihood of the Bush tax cuts being extended beyond next year. It's nothing more than an excuse to pinch those pennies that have never really trickled down the way we were promised they would.
How can there be any uncertainty in that? Simply assume the worst - from the wealthy side of the ledger - and deal with it accordingly. I know it must be daunting to stare those Clinton-era tax rates in the face again, but is that the reason for sewing shut the corporate sow's ear? Or is it something else?
The fact is that corporations have trillions of dollars in cash stuffed under their mattresses right now. Banks have long since rediscovered their liquidity and their footing in the stock market. Productivity in the workplace is at an all-time high, so there is indeed work to be done.
So where are the jobs? Where are the loans? Why is Big Business shirking its responsibility to every American out there who wants to play in this rigged game we call the American economy?
Because they're Republicans, stupid. They support the Republican Party and Republican candidates. The Republicans, you may have noticed, have been on the downslope of the political landscape just lately, on account of their policies wrecked our national finances in the first place.
Had anything remotely resembling a normal economic outlook emerged during Barack Obama's first two years in office, it would have been the death knell for the GOP, and rightly so. They knew this. That's why we all witnessed the incessant foot-dragging in Congress over the past two years.
Tax breaks to incentivize hiring? Can't have that. Money for loans to small businesses? No way. Infrastructure spending? Forget about it. Every good idea that the Democrats came up with flew through the House of Representatives, and then was sucked out of the womb by conservative Senate abortionists. This happened time and time again.
Having effectively thwarted a full-scale recovery in this manner, they now expect the voters to return them to office, since the Democrats couldn't (ahem) fix the economy. By the way, watch how much corporate cash gets poured into TV ads trashing Democratic candidates, as opposed to hiring, investing and lending.
That, too, is an expensive gift from Republicans. Five of them. They sit on the Supreme Court. They have a track record, a history, a file as thick as a phone book. They all do.
Conservatives have routinely made our lives a living Hell for their own gain, using our misery to shape their upside-down worldview, which has yet to actually work for anyone except for themselves. And they'll do it again if given half the chance.
Like I said, Christmas comes early this year. What are you hoping to receive?
pH 1o.18.1o
That was the sentiment as my sweetheart and I swept into Tombstone, Arizona for Helldorado Days. The weather was sweet, the town was packed, and we truly had nothing better to do.
It sure adds up, though. Four pairs of jeans out of the Shady Lady. Cigars at the Smoke Shop. Fudge and fishnet stockings from Madame Moustache (right next to Big Nose Kate's Saloon). A period-piece silk dress from Trash-E Tricia's, complete with gloves, bustle and feathered hair clip.
That's just the money we spent on the lady. Never mind the barbecue beef sandwiches and beers at the Silver Nugget. Or more beers at the Crystal Palace. Or the tee-shirts that you can only get at the Tombstone Epitaph. Or that nickel-plated double-barrel shotgun. I'm sure I'll find a use for it.
Yeah, this trip set us back a little bit, but Tombstone is always worth it. So is our economy. There are two false axioms at play in our current economic climate, two things that you hear people saying, to our nation's collective detriment.
The first thing: "The economy is bad; I don't want to spend any money." The absolute lack of logic in that statement is stunning. It makes just as much sense to say, "I'm dying of thirst. I'd better not drink any water."
The second thing is more pernicious. I use that word because it is a thing most often said by pernicious people. They say that they can't do any spending, or any hiring, or any investing, or any lending, because of uncertainty of it all. What are they uncertain about? They're not sure...
What they're really talking about is the unlikelihood of the Bush tax cuts being extended beyond next year. It's nothing more than an excuse to pinch those pennies that have never really trickled down the way we were promised they would.
How can there be any uncertainty in that? Simply assume the worst - from the wealthy side of the ledger - and deal with it accordingly. I know it must be daunting to stare those Clinton-era tax rates in the face again, but is that the reason for sewing shut the corporate sow's ear? Or is it something else?
The fact is that corporations have trillions of dollars in cash stuffed under their mattresses right now. Banks have long since rediscovered their liquidity and their footing in the stock market. Productivity in the workplace is at an all-time high, so there is indeed work to be done.
So where are the jobs? Where are the loans? Why is Big Business shirking its responsibility to every American out there who wants to play in this rigged game we call the American economy?
Because they're Republicans, stupid. They support the Republican Party and Republican candidates. The Republicans, you may have noticed, have been on the downslope of the political landscape just lately, on account of their policies wrecked our national finances in the first place.
Had anything remotely resembling a normal economic outlook emerged during Barack Obama's first two years in office, it would have been the death knell for the GOP, and rightly so. They knew this. That's why we all witnessed the incessant foot-dragging in Congress over the past two years.
Tax breaks to incentivize hiring? Can't have that. Money for loans to small businesses? No way. Infrastructure spending? Forget about it. Every good idea that the Democrats came up with flew through the House of Representatives, and then was sucked out of the womb by conservative Senate abortionists. This happened time and time again.
Having effectively thwarted a full-scale recovery in this manner, they now expect the voters to return them to office, since the Democrats couldn't (ahem) fix the economy. By the way, watch how much corporate cash gets poured into TV ads trashing Democratic candidates, as opposed to hiring, investing and lending.
That, too, is an expensive gift from Republicans. Five of them. They sit on the Supreme Court. They have a track record, a history, a file as thick as a phone book. They all do.
Conservatives have routinely made our lives a living Hell for their own gain, using our misery to shape their upside-down worldview, which has yet to actually work for anyone except for themselves. And they'll do it again if given half the chance.
Like I said, Christmas comes early this year. What are you hoping to receive?
pH 1o.18.1o
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Sick in What Way?
It is a scant three weeks before election day and the gloves have come off in the Arizona gubernatorial race. That unhappy fact is not unique in modern (or even historic) American politics, so on its face, it isn't worth the ink that was spilled onto page 2 of the Arizona Republic's Valley and State section this morning.
The content of the exchange, however, makes it worthy of closer examination. It all began when John Dougherty, the respected rapscallion who dutifully (and fearlessly) typed for the Phoenix New Times for all those years, floated an unsubstantiated Facebook rumor stating that incumbent Jan Brewer "is seriously ill and may not be capable of finishing a four-year term."
Brewer flatly denied the allegation, claiming to have had "a complete checkup" prior to the start of the race. It should have ended there, but in keeping with what we know about Brewer's judgment, it didn't.
Her campaign's top man, Chuck Coughlin, launched a cyber-missile of his own, using his consulting firm's website as the launchpad. He dredged up a 20-year old court transcript in which an unidentified subject suggested that Terry Goddard, Brewer's Democratic opponent, might be gay.
Not there's anything wrong with that - Coughlin's point was that there is no more validity, or relevance, to such a rumor than there is to Dougherty's rumor about Brewer's health. The two things are equal on the scale of media scrutiny, he claims.
There are only a few problems with his thinking on this. First off, Goddard didn't float the rumor about Brewer's health; John Dougherty did. Then there's the fact that being gay does not in any way impede one's ability to hold public office, whereas the same thing cannot be said about being gravely ill.
Most important, there's the fact that impugning someone for being sick is in no way a form of discrimination, but decrying one's sexuality can only be seen as such. So, memo to Chuck Coughlin and his sick boss, there are a few differences between the two things.
And that's natural, because there is also a difference between the two candidates. One would possibly make a fine governor for Arizona. The other is Jan Brewer.
pH 1o.13.1o
The content of the exchange, however, makes it worthy of closer examination. It all began when John Dougherty, the respected rapscallion who dutifully (and fearlessly) typed for the Phoenix New Times for all those years, floated an unsubstantiated Facebook rumor stating that incumbent Jan Brewer "is seriously ill and may not be capable of finishing a four-year term."
Brewer flatly denied the allegation, claiming to have had "a complete checkup" prior to the start of the race. It should have ended there, but in keeping with what we know about Brewer's judgment, it didn't.
Her campaign's top man, Chuck Coughlin, launched a cyber-missile of his own, using his consulting firm's website as the launchpad. He dredged up a 20-year old court transcript in which an unidentified subject suggested that Terry Goddard, Brewer's Democratic opponent, might be gay.
Not there's anything wrong with that - Coughlin's point was that there is no more validity, or relevance, to such a rumor than there is to Dougherty's rumor about Brewer's health. The two things are equal on the scale of media scrutiny, he claims.
There are only a few problems with his thinking on this. First off, Goddard didn't float the rumor about Brewer's health; John Dougherty did. Then there's the fact that being gay does not in any way impede one's ability to hold public office, whereas the same thing cannot be said about being gravely ill.
Most important, there's the fact that impugning someone for being sick is in no way a form of discrimination, but decrying one's sexuality can only be seen as such. So, memo to Chuck Coughlin and his sick boss, there are a few differences between the two things.
And that's natural, because there is also a difference between the two candidates. One would possibly make a fine governor for Arizona. The other is Jan Brewer.
pH 1o.13.1o
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Mama Fizzlies
Two-thousand and Ten will go down in history as the Year of the Crazy Woman. Of course, the germination of this phenomenon took place back in Aught-Eight, when John McCain found the courage of his convictions and chose Sarah Palin to be his running mate.
The Palin factor caused mighty ripples to roll through the ranks of the Republican Party. It frightened away otherwise interested Independents, who prefer an even keel, but found no such thing in the rudderless McCain campaign. The current gaggle of would-be elected officials is almost certain to have the same effect.
This looks bad, very bad, for the GOP. Traditionally, a first-term president's Party will lose a considerable number of seats in Congress to the opposition. With that in mind, Barack Obama went for as many victories in his first two years as he could possibly get, with the ambition of his agenda equal to the pace of his pursuit.
This pushed many of those fickle Indies back to the fence upon which they so proudly straddle. Then came the primaries, fueled by the Tea Party activists, who rallied in droves at costume parties in which they alternately dressed up as Minnie Pearl and the distinguished-looking fellow of Quaker Oats fame.
The evidence bears out the fact that the Tea Baggers were not thinking with their brains. Exhibit A: Christine O'Donnell of Delaware. It's easy enough for a self-professed witch to win a Republican primary, just as it once was for a Grand Wizard to do so. In a general election for a seat in the U.S. Senate, though, she will pose more of a challenge to her own Party than she ever could to the Democrats.
In Nevada, Sharron Angle managed to wrestle the nomination away from another wild-eyed she-con, Sue Lowden, the one who seriously suggested that Americans could trade poultry to their doctors in exchange for health care. Angle is possessed with views so extreme as to make the John Birch Society collectively blush, all the way down to her "Second Amendment Remedies" rant. She has done the impossible - she made Harry Reid look palatable.
The madness, shockingly, has even infected California. There, Meg Whitman (of eBay fame) has spent tens of millions of dollars trying to rent the governor's mansion. Without delving too deeply into her psyche, consider that if one Googles the words "Meg Whitman Crazy", one will find roughly 400,000 results.
California Senator Barbara Boxer also faces a new dementian, another McCain girl, no less. Carly Fiorina, the hatchet-faced hack who ran the Maverick's campaign aground long before he squealed for Mama Grizzly's help, has also spent millions of dollars of her own cash in this race.
If you ever worked for Hewlett-Packard, chances are Carly Fiorina sent your job overseas. That's the zenith of her experience in life, firing the citizenry.
For conservatives, this should have been the season of incandescent hope, but it will instead be remembered as an electoral cycle of tremendous disappointment. Will there be some erosion in the bulwark of majority the Democrats have enjoyed for the last two years? Sure, but... but...
But a few months ago, there were expectations of a complete takeover of both Houses. With the current lineup of candidates standing before the electorate, they will probably end up with the smallest gains ever achieved in a first-term president's mid-term election. If it weren't such a good thing, it would be sad.
They will have only their fringe to blame. The American people may not know much, but they surely know better than to shoot themselves in the foot. Not when the other foot is still on the mend, still sore from the last time they stepped in that right-wing bear trap.
pH 1o.7.1o
The Palin factor caused mighty ripples to roll through the ranks of the Republican Party. It frightened away otherwise interested Independents, who prefer an even keel, but found no such thing in the rudderless McCain campaign. The current gaggle of would-be elected officials is almost certain to have the same effect.
This looks bad, very bad, for the GOP. Traditionally, a first-term president's Party will lose a considerable number of seats in Congress to the opposition. With that in mind, Barack Obama went for as many victories in his first two years as he could possibly get, with the ambition of his agenda equal to the pace of his pursuit.
This pushed many of those fickle Indies back to the fence upon which they so proudly straddle. Then came the primaries, fueled by the Tea Party activists, who rallied in droves at costume parties in which they alternately dressed up as Minnie Pearl and the distinguished-looking fellow of Quaker Oats fame.
The evidence bears out the fact that the Tea Baggers were not thinking with their brains. Exhibit A: Christine O'Donnell of Delaware. It's easy enough for a self-professed witch to win a Republican primary, just as it once was for a Grand Wizard to do so. In a general election for a seat in the U.S. Senate, though, she will pose more of a challenge to her own Party than she ever could to the Democrats.
In Nevada, Sharron Angle managed to wrestle the nomination away from another wild-eyed she-con, Sue Lowden, the one who seriously suggested that Americans could trade poultry to their doctors in exchange for health care. Angle is possessed with views so extreme as to make the John Birch Society collectively blush, all the way down to her "Second Amendment Remedies" rant. She has done the impossible - she made Harry Reid look palatable.
The madness, shockingly, has even infected California. There, Meg Whitman (of eBay fame) has spent tens of millions of dollars trying to rent the governor's mansion. Without delving too deeply into her psyche, consider that if one Googles the words "Meg Whitman Crazy", one will find roughly 400,000 results.
California Senator Barbara Boxer also faces a new dementian, another McCain girl, no less. Carly Fiorina, the hatchet-faced hack who ran the Maverick's campaign aground long before he squealed for Mama Grizzly's help, has also spent millions of dollars of her own cash in this race.
If you ever worked for Hewlett-Packard, chances are Carly Fiorina sent your job overseas. That's the zenith of her experience in life, firing the citizenry.
For conservatives, this should have been the season of incandescent hope, but it will instead be remembered as an electoral cycle of tremendous disappointment. Will there be some erosion in the bulwark of majority the Democrats have enjoyed for the last two years? Sure, but... but...
But a few months ago, there were expectations of a complete takeover of both Houses. With the current lineup of candidates standing before the electorate, they will probably end up with the smallest gains ever achieved in a first-term president's mid-term election. If it weren't such a good thing, it would be sad.
They will have only their fringe to blame. The American people may not know much, but they surely know better than to shoot themselves in the foot. Not when the other foot is still on the mend, still sore from the last time they stepped in that right-wing bear trap.
pH 1o.7.1o
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Another Case of the Typical
"We are seeking to incite the (Islamic) nation to rise up to liberate its land and to (wage) jihad for the sake of God." - Osama bin Laden, June 1999
Somewhere in the swamps of Florida, a man of the cloth named Terry Jones is working hard, working very hard indeed to do the work of the world's most wanted terrorist. With the good sense of a snake-handler, and the righteous vigor of a snake-oil salesman, Jones has managed to thrust himself and his... gosh, scores of followers into the media limelight. How?
By announcing the first annual Koran Burning Day. Imagine that... Osama meets Hitler. It doesn't get a whole lot more Christian than that, does it? Naturally, this feel-good event is scheduled for September 11th.
With the clock ticking, the conservative movement is calving on this issue, with several notables now asking Mr. Jones to please not do that. This phenomenon took place after the revered Gen. David Petraeus mentioning that burning the Koran would likely incite considerable violence against our troops in Muslim countries.
Many Republicans, however, are not concerned with the sensitivies of Muslims in the United States or around the world. They play the little-kid card, conflating this lunacy with the Islamic community center that may someday be built two blocks from Ground Zero in Manhattan. It's about what one would expect from Grand Obstruction Party.
America was founded on freedom of religion. The concept was so important to the Founding Fathers that they listed it first on the Bill of Rights. The same amendment gives cover to people like Terry Jones, almost, since burning Korans could easily be construed as the equivalent to burning crosses - another Southern tradition that didn't pass free-speech muster.
So we all get to enjoy watching this utterly offensive freak show, this display of our worst behavior, this embarrassing insult to all those who have died (and will die) protecting a nation that used to value anyone's religious views, or non-views, for that matter. This is Terry Jones' contribution to our ever-evolving American discourse.
By the way, he'll also be in violation of the city's fire-safety code, so the YouTube crowd might be treated to hysterical images of the little church cookout being doused by the fire hoses of authority. Amen to that.
pH 9.o8.1o
Somewhere in the swamps of Florida, a man of the cloth named Terry Jones is working hard, working very hard indeed to do the work of the world's most wanted terrorist. With the good sense of a snake-handler, and the righteous vigor of a snake-oil salesman, Jones has managed to thrust himself and his... gosh, scores of followers into the media limelight. How?
By announcing the first annual Koran Burning Day. Imagine that... Osama meets Hitler. It doesn't get a whole lot more Christian than that, does it? Naturally, this feel-good event is scheduled for September 11th.
With the clock ticking, the conservative movement is calving on this issue, with several notables now asking Mr. Jones to please not do that. This phenomenon took place after the revered Gen. David Petraeus mentioning that burning the Koran would likely incite considerable violence against our troops in Muslim countries.
Many Republicans, however, are not concerned with the sensitivies of Muslims in the United States or around the world. They play the little-kid card, conflating this lunacy with the Islamic community center that may someday be built two blocks from Ground Zero in Manhattan. It's about what one would expect from Grand Obstruction Party.
America was founded on freedom of religion. The concept was so important to the Founding Fathers that they listed it first on the Bill of Rights. The same amendment gives cover to people like Terry Jones, almost, since burning Korans could easily be construed as the equivalent to burning crosses - another Southern tradition that didn't pass free-speech muster.
So we all get to enjoy watching this utterly offensive freak show, this display of our worst behavior, this embarrassing insult to all those who have died (and will die) protecting a nation that used to value anyone's religious views, or non-views, for that matter. This is Terry Jones' contribution to our ever-evolving American discourse.
By the way, he'll also be in violation of the city's fire-safety code, so the YouTube crowd might be treated to hysterical images of the little church cookout being doused by the fire hoses of authority. Amen to that.
pH 9.o8.1o
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Broken Branch
A man's home is his castle. That's about as conservative a mantra as you'll ever find. It puts a nice capsule around the trinity of American ideas that were so cherished by the Founding Fathers - life, liberty, property (some silly liberal actually changed that last one to "pursuit of happiness", whatever that means).
My castle has been invaded. Twice now, both times during what we used to call dinner hour, my phone has been blown up by a robo-call. Was it a sales call? No. Dial-a-Prayer bugging me again? Not that, either. It was a recorded message from Bob Branch.
Bob Branch is (I now know) running for Congress, hoping to represent the great state of Arizona. He made sure to mention, numerous times, that he's a Christian conservative. Because I can read and understand the establishment clause, it occurs to me that Bob may as well be a Shinto anarchist where the First Amendment to the Constitution is concerned.
He has no other credentials. Bob Branch lays out all of his inexperience on a website for us to read. Based on the number of fingers he has, Bob Branch lays out his ten-point plan for the United States.
Homeland Security: It starts with securing the border, of course. Never mind that all 19 of the 9/11 hijackers were in the country on visas. And he quotes "President Regan" (sic) as having said, "Government's first duty is to protect people, not run their lives." Perhaps President Regan was speaking of the Iraqi people; who knows?
Transferring terrorists to the United States: Don't do it! Of course, without actual trials, we don't really know if the detainees at Guantanamo Bay are terrorists or simple goat herders. Following Bob's path, we never will.
Education: Bob, a college professor with one of those elitist degrees with lots of letters in it, wants to eliminate summer vacation for the kids. And he wants to rearrange the timeline for completing their education. It is worth noting that the state he wishes to represent is dead last in education funding per pupil and leads the nation in dropouts.
Health Care: Bob, himself a rather overweight fellow, knows how to handle this one. His advice is to get a job. If you lose that job, you should be able to pay both your end and the employer's end of the bill to keep your health insurance until you get another job. The health care bill that was signed into law by President Obama is errantly referred to as "socialized medicine".
Balanced Budget: Bob wants to balance the budget. His many position papers, railing against the record deficits run up year after year by the Bush administration - which didn't even put the funding for two wars into the equation - can be found at... Hang on... I'll find it... Ah, never mind.
Same-Sex Marriage: Anybody want to take a stab at Bob's position on this one? He's against it, because he believes that the sanctity of marriage (and the joy of divorce) is reserved for one man and one woman. He also believes that marriage is a union blessed by God, further exposing his ignorance of (or contempt for) the separation of church and state.
The Right to Life: Bob doesn't agree with the 1973 Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion in America. He refuses to acknowledge that abortions have been declining for decades as a result of better birth control (which he also opposes). Wonder what other Supreme Court decisions he doesn't like?
Energy: Bob's first step to energy independence is literally taken from his website. "Drill, baby, drill". So original... With no more than 3 to 5 percent of the world's oil supply in our hands, and with the BP oil spill plaguing the Gulf Coast, Bob may as well take a Sharpie and write the word "Moron" on his own forehead.
Cap and Trade: Bob says that cap-and-trade legislation (effectively a tax on corporate polluters based on the amount of carbon they emit) "will kill us as a nation". So Bob Branch is either entirely delusional about this, or he's hoping to attract some corporate polluter money to his campaign. Or both.
The War on Terror: I actually expected him to say, "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out", but Bob's logic is even hazier than that. Clearly define our goals, he says, without doing so. Then provide the troops with the resources they need (while balancing the budget, mind you). Once the goals are achieved, we can bring them home to a grateful nation. In other words, he would do what Barack Obama has already done.
Looking at this raw tripe, anyone can see that Bob Branch is in no way fit to represent any state other than Arizona. For us, he's a true par. One thing, though, struck me as odd each time my dinner was interrupted by his telephone solicitations. The phone number that popped up on my caller ID came out of North Dakota.
Bob Branch, in his bid to represent Arizona, outsourced the job to North Dakota. Arizona has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. North Dakota actually has the lowest, at 3.9 percent, and now we know why.
Bob Branch for Congress, anyone? Anyone? That's what I thought. You never know, though, as elections are funny things. He may yet win one for the Giper.
pH 8.22.1o
My castle has been invaded. Twice now, both times during what we used to call dinner hour, my phone has been blown up by a robo-call. Was it a sales call? No. Dial-a-Prayer bugging me again? Not that, either. It was a recorded message from Bob Branch.
Bob Branch is (I now know) running for Congress, hoping to represent the great state of Arizona. He made sure to mention, numerous times, that he's a Christian conservative. Because I can read and understand the establishment clause, it occurs to me that Bob may as well be a Shinto anarchist where the First Amendment to the Constitution is concerned.
He has no other credentials. Bob Branch lays out all of his inexperience on a website for us to read. Based on the number of fingers he has, Bob Branch lays out his ten-point plan for the United States.
Homeland Security: It starts with securing the border, of course. Never mind that all 19 of the 9/11 hijackers were in the country on visas. And he quotes "President Regan" (sic) as having said, "Government's first duty is to protect people, not run their lives." Perhaps President Regan was speaking of the Iraqi people; who knows?
Transferring terrorists to the United States: Don't do it! Of course, without actual trials, we don't really know if the detainees at Guantanamo Bay are terrorists or simple goat herders. Following Bob's path, we never will.
Education: Bob, a college professor with one of those elitist degrees with lots of letters in it, wants to eliminate summer vacation for the kids. And he wants to rearrange the timeline for completing their education. It is worth noting that the state he wishes to represent is dead last in education funding per pupil and leads the nation in dropouts.
Health Care: Bob, himself a rather overweight fellow, knows how to handle this one. His advice is to get a job. If you lose that job, you should be able to pay both your end and the employer's end of the bill to keep your health insurance until you get another job. The health care bill that was signed into law by President Obama is errantly referred to as "socialized medicine".
Balanced Budget: Bob wants to balance the budget. His many position papers, railing against the record deficits run up year after year by the Bush administration - which didn't even put the funding for two wars into the equation - can be found at... Hang on... I'll find it... Ah, never mind.
Same-Sex Marriage: Anybody want to take a stab at Bob's position on this one? He's against it, because he believes that the sanctity of marriage (and the joy of divorce) is reserved for one man and one woman. He also believes that marriage is a union blessed by God, further exposing his ignorance of (or contempt for) the separation of church and state.
The Right to Life: Bob doesn't agree with the 1973 Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion in America. He refuses to acknowledge that abortions have been declining for decades as a result of better birth control (which he also opposes). Wonder what other Supreme Court decisions he doesn't like?
Energy: Bob's first step to energy independence is literally taken from his website. "Drill, baby, drill". So original... With no more than 3 to 5 percent of the world's oil supply in our hands, and with the BP oil spill plaguing the Gulf Coast, Bob may as well take a Sharpie and write the word "Moron" on his own forehead.
Cap and Trade: Bob says that cap-and-trade legislation (effectively a tax on corporate polluters based on the amount of carbon they emit) "will kill us as a nation". So Bob Branch is either entirely delusional about this, or he's hoping to attract some corporate polluter money to his campaign. Or both.
The War on Terror: I actually expected him to say, "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out", but Bob's logic is even hazier than that. Clearly define our goals, he says, without doing so. Then provide the troops with the resources they need (while balancing the budget, mind you). Once the goals are achieved, we can bring them home to a grateful nation. In other words, he would do what Barack Obama has already done.
Looking at this raw tripe, anyone can see that Bob Branch is in no way fit to represent any state other than Arizona. For us, he's a true par. One thing, though, struck me as odd each time my dinner was interrupted by his telephone solicitations. The phone number that popped up on my caller ID came out of North Dakota.
Bob Branch, in his bid to represent Arizona, outsourced the job to North Dakota. Arizona has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. North Dakota actually has the lowest, at 3.9 percent, and now we know why.
Bob Branch for Congress, anyone? Anyone? That's what I thought. You never know, though, as elections are funny things. He may yet win one for the Giper.
pH 8.22.1o
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