Friday, July 24, 2009

Crazy Is As Crazy Does

There are two major currents swirling in American politics today. I'm just too old and tired to navigate them both at the same time. So I'm going to flip a coin.

Heads, the topic will be the Harvard professor who was arrested for breaking into his own house. Tails, it will be the lunatic fringe conservatives who still insist that Barack Obama is not an American citizen and therefore cannot be president of the United States.

Here goes. (Flip)

Okay, it was tails, so let's keep it short and sweet. Fact: President Barack Obama was born in the United States and is an American citizen. That's it. However...

If conservatives, like that barking baboon of a woman who was allowed into Republican Congressman Mike Castle's recent town-hall meeting, want to try and make yardage with that argument then by all means let them run with the ball. Please.

The public at large needs to know about these people, like that soldier who thinks he can dodge military duty because he hasn't seen his Commander in Chief's birth certificate (as noted on FOX News). Remember, son, you're still serving your country even when you're breaking rocks.

You know who wasn't born in America? John McCain. He was born in Panama. And the 18 percent of Americans who still believe that the sun revolves around the earth (or that Adam and Eve rode around on dinosaurs) undoubtedly voted for him anyway. With their support, and U.S. citizenship, he lost.

It's not too hard to see that a good chunk of the conservative movement is stark raving mad, and that such is becoming a serious drag on the Republican Party, but I say America needs those people. I want cameras in their contorted faces and microphones down their throbbing throats.

It will keep us safe from them for at least another generation.

pH 7.24.o9

Monday, July 20, 2009

Ask a Stupid Question

So far this has been one strange summer, which used to be the lazy season, a time for repose. Not anymore. Today's news stories have the look and feel of expensive movie scripts, or punches in the gut. The hits just keep on comin'.

Don't look here for answers. I'm stuck with a bunch of stupid questions. You tell me:

Could this glimmer of a revolution in Iran actually be a latent sprout of the Bush foreign policy? In other words - ones that make more sense - were the Iranian people inspired by a "free and democratic" Iraq next door? Or have they been Westernized in other ways?

With respect to Iraq, why didn't the world (meaning the United Nations) impose sanctions on the United States for its unilateral attack on a sovereign nation? Is open hegemony okay for big countries, but not for little ones?

Have they buried Michael Jackson yet? Why do I miss him now that he's gone when I pretty much considered him to be a freak when he was alive? Speaking of freaks, has anybody ever heard of Bruce Jacobs?

As the Obama administration hits the rapids of the health care debate, wouldn't it build confidence to tackle something smaller first, like the price of cable TV? Hasn't that issue languished in Congress for decades, like a baby picked up and dropped by John McCain?

With the highest incarceration rates in the world, don't we already have a damn good head start on the road to government-provided health care?

As for the stubbornly underperforming economy, why have prices come down but wages haven't gone up? Wouldn't increased wages spur demand? Or is it too late for anything that simple to overtake the business class in this country?

Why would Billy Joel have even wanted to sing, "I love you just the way you are"? Was that, like, a compliment back in the day? Was Joe Cocker even worse with, "You are so beautiful (to me)"? Was Steve Miller the only musician with any good lines?

Given that Bush and the GOP had eight years to screw this great nation into the ground, does it make sense for President Obama's critics to denounce him as a failure just six months into his tenure? And is anyone surprised?

So who killed the Republican Party? Without question, conservatives divided their house and so were easily conquered, but who did the dividing? Wasn't it actually Rush Limbaugh with his regular tirades against moderates, RINOs and "blue-blood" Republicans?

(Finally, an easy one. Still stupid, but easy.)

pH 7.2o.o9

Monday, July 13, 2009

Try To See It My Way

An Open Letter to the Marriott Hotel Chain:

Dear Marriott,

Just one month ago, I experienced your Desert Springs Resort and Spa in Palm Desert, California. Admittedly, it's a bit of a drive, as I live in Phoenix (home to many of its own fine resorts, including the Biltmore, just up the road from me) but I had the opportunity to spend a long weekend with my sister, who lives in New York, but was attending a conference there in mid-June. So I went.

I must say the resort there is quite beautiful, scenic and verdant. The golf courses also appeared to be splendid. The lobby was hip, exotic and ornate. These are the things I notice from the photographs I took while I was there, the things I could not actually see - in the moment as it were - because someone stole my glasses at the Oasis swimming pool within hours of my arrival on Saturday, June 13th.

I don't mean "sunglasses" or just plain "prescription glasses" that you get at the mall. These were prescription sunglasses, with Transitions lenses on rimless RayBan frames. Without those, I pretty much see things as shapes and colors unless I'm within about ten feet of what it is I'm trying to look at.

Further, I don't mean to say that the glasses came up missing or got misplaced or were lost or any other such thing. They got grabbed, along with a cooler-bag and a baseball cap (the tee-shirt and flip-flops apparently weren't so desirable). There were no other patrons around that end of the pool, only resort employees; several of them were running around scooping up towels and, apparently, my personal property.

The irony is that I was somewhat impressed, even irked, at the levels of security present at the pool, right down to the highlighter-yellow wristbands that guests were required to wear. In fact, a radio-wielding employee made me go back up to my room, on the 4th floor, to retrieve said wristband before I could get into the pool area. Stalwart.

Anyway, the front desk immediately assured me that nobody could do anything about my glasses. Noone was answering the phone at Lost and Found, so I would just have to check back in the morning - good night, now! Nobody had any information for me in the morning, so I went down to the front desk and asked for the police to be called.

Rather than going through the proper machinations of law enforcement, I was introduced to your Loss Prevention Supervisor, Ken. I was assured that a claim would be put in, and that Marriott's claims department was both "fair" - I'm quoting Ken here - and "giving". I then called my optometrist, Bruce Tager, and had him fax over the invoice for the new pair of glasses that I had to order.

So, needless to say, my golf clubs stayed in the trunk of the car and the money for greens fees stayed in my wallet. Pretty much, I either hung out in the room and listened to TV, or hung out by the Springs pool (although with a heightened sense of vigilance). I checked in with Lost and Found a couple more times to see if the glasses had turned up, as we all hoped they would, but to no avail.

On Tuesday, June 16th, I underwent the unhappy task of driving 280 miles back to Phoenix in a manner inconsistent with the requirements noted on my Arizona driver's license (i.e., blind). Now, at this time, it was still my belief that Marriott was one of the uppermost brands in the hospitality industry, and I was confident that this would all be taken care of in a forthright manner.

Now I am here, with substantial regret, to explain to you that such is not the case. After two weeks and two inquisitive e-mails to Ken, I got an e-mail response that only asked if I had "heard from Claims?" I summarily sent a more forceful e-mail indicating that this isn't exactly leading to a stellar online review from me. That prompted, finally, a phone call.

In that phone call, Ken kept saying that he wanted to make me happy, and went on to offer me "a bunch of points" or a free two-night stay at the resort (weekends excluded). I told him that those things would not make me happy, as I had to pay out of pocket to Tager Optical for replacement glasses, and that I was not likely to be out in Palm Desert again regardless.

Ken then told me that he would go ahead and submit the claim, which he should have done two weeks earlier, and that I should be patient because "the wheels move slowly". I withheld the obvious retort that this is the computer age already. I also wondered, not aloud, why he had earlier asked me if I had heard from Claims when he had not even contacted them yet.

I noticed that evening that Ken had also e-mailed his offer of "points" (which I know nothing about) or a complimentary stay at Marriott, a prospect which, frankly, dims more and more with each passing day. Another week or so went by before I would again hear from the J.W. Marriott Desert Springs Resort and Spa.

This time, it was Lorena on the phone, telling me that my claim had been authorized, but that it still had to be approved "by corporate". That sounded fine to me, three and a half weeks after the fact, and she said I should call her back if I didn't get a check within a few days... Which I didn't.

What I did get, however, was a W9 form along with a note from Marriott Business Services in Louisville, Tennessee, asking for my tax ID number, as they had "received your (my) request to add you to our vendor database for future payment of invoices". Further, the letter stated that I may be "subject to a $50 penalty imposed by the Internal Revenue Service under section 6723" if I don't provide them with my tax ID number.

That's nice.

It sounds like you want me to take you seriously. Well, I'd like you take me seriously, too. I know what a W9 is for. Seems to me that your guy Ken just doesn't want to present "corporate" with an invoice for property that was stolen on his watch, so maybe he's cooking this up to make it look like I did some sort of work for your hotel, and that I'm being paid for a good or service rendered, which is so very clearly wrong.

So I told myself this afternoon, it's been a whole month now, I don't care if there's a check sitting in the mailbox - I'm going viral on you people. I went to my computer keenly intent upon razing your reputation, and was kind of surprised to find that many of the online reviews of the J.W. Marriott Desert Springs Resort and Spa were quite complimentary...

Except for the one posted on TravelYahoo! on May 10, 2007 by someone whose glasses were swiped from her room there. Prescription sunglasses. With designer frames. Two instances of misappropriated glasses in a two-year time frame, that doesn't (necessarily) comprise a pattern, does it? Her complaint about the stubborn and unhelpful LP department, that doesn't (automatically) constitute a pathology. Does it?

But I'm not going to sandbag you on all those travel websites. Nor will I post my video, which I could call "A Den Of Thieves", on YouTube. Oh, you deserve it, but it's not my style, kind of beneath a person of my talents and resources. I'm more the type to take solace in the fact that the old wheel, she comes around regularly.

For instance, my sister that I mentioned, she was an event organizer for that convention she was attending that weekend. Of course that's not her profession; she's a rocket scientist just like the rest of the people who attended. (Hint: Not the yoga instructors.) She's just willing to put up with the process of fielding bids and whatnot for their conferences. They even gave her a little plaque for doing it. I don't know how much those conferences cost, but I do know that there is fierce competition to host them, or so she said.

My dear sister lived through my entire ordeal, even the part about sightlessly driving down I-10. She's already called me a couple of times, asking if I'd been reimbursed yet. (Nope.) Oh, the resort also tried to bill her $50 for valet parking, even though she didn't even have a car. And she was also late to a meeting when her wake-up call didn't happen. Minor annoyances, I say.

Well, I guess I've taken up enough of your time. No hard feelings, just bad ones. Good luck in the future, Marriott. I suggest you take a look at what goes on at your wonderful resort there in Palm Desert. The place has everything going for it... Or so I've heard.

(ADDENDUM: One month after posting this article, and fully two months after the incident, Marriott sent a check covering the full amount of the glasses. Much appreciated, albeit long overdue.)

pH 7.13.o9

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Requiem for a Lightweight

Another prominent Republican has fallen in the forest. Everyone heard it. Everyone shrugged. Sarah Palin, the meteoric loser who sank the McCain campaign (according to his staff) last November, has resigned as governor of Alaska as of the end of this month.

Ms. Palin had way more than fifteen minutes of fame. During her turn under the lights, just about every media entity took their swipes at her, from Katie Couric to Tina Fey to David Letterman. Mad or otherwise, at least she's going away.

Oh, she'll still be around for those cheerleading - sorry, fundraising sessions in Washington; she says she'll be focusing hard on issues like energy independence, national security and other things she didn't quite seem to grasp during the election. As for 2o12, well, you know what they say in Alaska.

(Don't you? Actually, I don't either. Oh, well.)

Out of all the angles to this story, the only real problem is the way the media handles it, as the governor would likely agree. Howard Kurtz of the Washington Post, for instance, got it wrong until the very end. From his recent column:

"And there was Palin firing the state public-safety commissioner, who happened to be embroiled in a bitter divorce and custody battle with the governor's sister."

See, that's the kind of lazy, uninformed journalism that has been eroding the Post's circulation for years on end: You don't ever start a sentence with the word "and". Beyond that, the public-safety commissioner was actually fired for refusing to dismiss a state trooper who was embroiled in that bitter divorce and custody battle with the governor's sister.

See? That's sloppy journalism, worthy of criticism. Stupid media, always trying to portray things in a negative light where Sarah Barracuda is concerned.

Or was.

pH 7.o5.o9

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

If You Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out of the... Hey, Where'd They Go?

Welcome to July, which is already the longest month of the year, but signally so for the Republican Party this trip around the sun. This is the hot and grumpy month in which Al Franken will be seated as the junior Senator from Minnesota.

Norm Coleman likely damaged his future chances at holding public office with his puerile struggle against Franken in the eight-month-long recount, but that's the least of the GOP's worries, since Franken's victory gives the Democrats cloture power in the Senate. That means they have enough votes to shut down any filibuster.

Incidentally, this is something that the Rabid Right desperately wished for when it held power, with Bill Frist and Dick Cheney openly pining over the "nucular option". They wanted to change time-honored Senate rules in order to eliminate the filibuster where judicial nominees were concerned - and so would have began their slippery slope:

http://www.hellermountain.com/h_051805.html

The American people gave that gift to the Democrats in response to such an open sewer of arrogance. Still, only a drooling optimist would ever believe that all 58 Donkeys, plus Indies Joe Lieberman and Bernie Sanders, could ever get on the same side of any issue (especially with Robert Byrd and Ted Kennedy in markedly poor health).

Seeing as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is little more than a hand-wringing milktoast, this may not be an advantage for Democrats at all; it puts all the pressure on them to perform. How things have changed in the past 32 months.

In October of 2006, Republicans held solid majorities in both Houses of Congress (and of course had George Dubya in the Oval Office). But they'd been in charge for a good while, and things were going quite poorly, so the voters then took away their seats and by 2008 had buried them in a hole so deep that some describe it as a grave.

A finicky public, therefore, may not be willing to give the Obama administration as long a leash as it wants... Or, at least, that's the last thread of hope to which conservatives might cling. Indeed, this whole mess we call America is the Democratic Party's baby now. All but a few loud malcontents want to see them succeed.

Unfortunately for the Republicans, they now have a recent track record on which they shall be judged, something that was absent in 1994 when they took over the House of Representatives. On many levels, it was their incompetence, corruption and political self-indulgence that got Barack Obama (never mind Al Franken) elected.

In other words, short-term memory alone should prevent much in the way of electoral erosion, as conservatism has been relegated to an ever-shrinking minority. The rest of us, as has been so amply demonstrated, can actually think for ourselves.

pH 7.o1.o9